I Saw Mummy Kiss Chat Noir
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: Emma Agreste thought she had the perfect life...until she saw her mother kiss the superhero Chat Noir. With the help of her twin brother, Hugo, Emma is determined to stop Chat Noir from ruining their family and stealing away their mother. Meanwhile, Adrien is convinced his children hate him.
1. Chapter 1

Emma Agreste always thought her life was perfect.

It was hard _not_ to think so when she had the best, most loving, parents in the world, the most awesome friend in her twin brother, the cutest (if annoying and rather boring) little sister, the coolest aunts and uncles, grandparents that fed her free cakes, and everything she could possibly ever want at the tips of her fingers. Her parents were rich, and famous, from their fashion business, and she never had to know what it was like to go hungry or cold or to not get a present at Christmas or on her birthday. She had a freaking _rock wall_ in one of the spare bedrooms of her gigantic home. She definitely never needed to worry about anything.

And then one day it all changed.

It started on a normal day which instantly meant she was woken up by Hugo to get ready for school.

"Em," Hugo said impatiently as he shook her, "Em, wake up! Your alarm has been going off for the last twenty minutes."

"Meh," Emma groaned into her pillow, "five more minutes, Hugh."

"No," Hugo said sternly, "you get up _now_ or I get Mum and tell her you were the one that ate all of her cookies that-"

"I'm up!" Emma gasped as she sat up abruptly.

Mum's cookies were a sacred food item that no one was allowed to touch (everyone else had their own cookies they had to share), much like Dad's camembert (which no one in their right mind would want to touch, so that was okay), and on one of Emma's midnight snack raids she had gobbled the lot. Hugo helped her keep it secret but there was no escaping punishment as they both got grounded that time with a threat if Mum ever found out who really ate them all they would get extra punishment. It had been a month ago and Emma had no doubt Mum would follow through with the punishment. Mum was strict like that.

"Good," Hugo said satisfied, "because we're leaving in twenty minutes and Dad's making eggs."

"Dad _always_ makes eggs."

It was the only thing he could cook. So every morning for breakfast, without fail, when it was Dad's turn to sort out breakfast they had scrambled eggs on toast. It was really boring but they all ate it without complaint because it made Dad happy.

Quickly, Emma got dressed before she ran down the long corridor, and then the marble stairs, and then some more long corridors (their house is _really_ big, she didn't get why, but Mum said it was something about Dad upholding Grandfather Gabriel's legacy) before she burst into the kitchen where Dottie was gurgling in her highchair, Hugo was calmly eating his own eggs, and Dad was humming cheerfully as he cooked eggs.

"Good morning Little Lady," Dad greeted her with his biggest, happiest, grin, "have you overslept again?"

"Uhuh," Emma mumbled as she shovelled the eggs down her throat, "where's Mum?" she asked with her mouth full.

"Also oversleeping," Dad winked, "like mother, like daughter, huh?" he ruffled Emma's hair affectionately. "Do you have anything exciting planned today?"

"No," Emma pulled a face, "just boring school. What about you, Dad?"

"Definitely not," her Dad pulled a face, "just boring work with lots of boring meetings while Mum gets to sit off and draw all day."

"Poor Daddy," Emma said sympathetically, "this is why when I grow up I'm going to be an adventurer. So I won't be stuck in boring old meetings."

"I think you'll find," Dad replied, his green eyes – the same as her's – twinkling in amusement, "that every job has boring old meetings. Even adventurers."

"Good morning!" Mum called out as she clattered into the kitchen loudly and clumsily in her high heels. She almost fell over completely but Dad caught her in time and they shared one of their extra lovey-dovey, super goofy, absolutely sickening, smiles. "Hey Hot Stuff," Mum murmured huskily.

"My Lady," Dad replied.

Emma and Hugo exchanged disgusted looks and gagged loudly. Mum and Dad jumped slightly and laughed awkwardly. "All right, all right, we get it you two," Mum said as she kissed Hugo's temple in greeting, "no more icky love stuff at the breakfast table," she pressed a kiss on Dottie's forehead and then moved over to kiss Emma. "Oh kitten," she murmured as she ran a hand thorough Emma's hair, "you haven't brushed your hair at all."

"I'm _seven_ ," Emma said, "why should I care what I look like?"

"Because," Mum said as she pulled out her hairbrush from her handbag, "you don't want anyone to know what a terror you really are until _after_ they get to know you." Emma moaned and whined as her mother attacked the tangles in Emma's hair and forced her unruly, black-blue, curls into ponytail, "much better," Mum said with a satisfied smile, "I can see your pretty face now."

Emma pulled a face at that. "I'm not pretty," she mumbled, "Dottie's pretty."

Dottie was only two, five whole years younger than Emma, but already she had the sweetest face with great, big, blue-green eyes that no one else could ever have. She also used to have fair hair like Hugo but it was beginning to turn a pretty chestnut brown colour ("She'll end up with brown hair like Grandpa," Mum had predicted not so long ago). Emma, however, had messy weird hair, cat-like green eyes, and a load of hideous freckles.

"You're _pretty_ ," Mum said sternly, "I won't hear another word otherwise." For some reason Dad coughed loudly at that and Mum narrowed her eyes playfully at that. "You can hardly talk, Kitty," she said pointedly as she approached him by the stove, "I recall someone else being just as insecure as I was."

"All in the past now," Dad said casually, "eggs?" he offered the pan up.

"As much as I would love to eat your delicious eggs," Mum said, "I have to get Dottie to the bakery and then get into the office. There's a meeting on the spring line, remember?"

"Don't remind me," Dad moaned, "just go, go and let my excellent cooking go to waste while I pine for my wife as she abandons me on this fine morning," he said melodramatically.

"Oh _please_ ," Mum rolled her eyes, "first thing, Kitty, your cooking is hardly _excellent_ and, secondly, after dropping the Kittens off at school you'll be by my side virtually all day. You'll hardly be _pining_."

"Hmm…" Dad hummed appreciatively, "you're right. You should go now so I can actually pine a little."

" _Goodbye_ Adrien," Mum rolled her eyes again as she kissed Dad's cheek, "the kids' lunches are in the fridge."

"And mine?"

"Also in the fridge," Mum replied as she hauled Dottie out of her highchair, " _ooh_!" she groaned. "You're getting so big, Little Bug," she told the giggling, happy, two year old. "Say bye, bye to Daddy and your brother and sister."

"Bye, bye!" Dottie repeated obediently as she waved. "Bye, bye!"

Everyone called out their goodbyes and soon enough they were in the regular routine of going to school. School was one of the few things that made Emma's life less than perfect. It was so _boring_ with its reading and numeracy classes but there were upsides, like playtime, and friends, and Mum's delicious lunches, and art class. Emma happily drew a picture of her family, as she always did unless she had another idea, and was praised warmly by her teacher for it.

Eventually school was over and Mum came to pick them up while Dad had to work late. After picking up Dottie from Grandpa and Grandma's (and being stuffed to the brim with cakes despite Mum's loud protests), they arrived home.

"I want you to go into the dining room and do your homework," Mum said as she fumbled with the house keys. "I'll be there to help in a minute but first _– oh God_!" she groaned. And then as soon as the door slammed open, Mum vanished into the nearest bathroom.

"Looks like Mummy is busy," Emma said cheerfully to Dottie, "so your big sister Emma will play with you instead."

"Oh no you don't," Hugo said sternly, "Mum said to do homework first. And I know you have numeracy homework. I'm in your class."

Sometimes it really sucks to have your older, twin, brother in the same class as you. Especially when Hugo, despite all of his awesomeness with his cleverness and wit, can be such a _stuck in the mud_. Emma grumbled as they settled into their way too big dining room and spread out their homework. Dottie sat on the end happily scribbling in crayons while Hugo guarded his homework jealousy from Emma's attempts of cheating off of him.

What? She hated maths.

After what felt like an eternity, Mum re-emerged from the bathroom. She looked a little pale but otherwise she was her usual happy self. "Are you okay, Mum?" Hugo asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, Kitten," Mum replied cheerfully, "I'm just going to put the dinner on. You two keep up the good work."

Emma grumbled, she really hated homework, but under Hugo's patient, guiding, hand, she was able to work out the harder questions and soon enough they were allowed to play. Dinner came and went, and was delicious as always, and then Dottie was bathed and sent to bed, and Emma and Hugo had to do their reading homework as they took it in turns to read their assigned books out to their mother who gently corrected them when it was needed.

Mum then insisted it was bath time and both Emma and Hugo grumbled as they were forced to share a bath together and then they had to have their hairs washed and Mum used the nit comb. Double torture.

Though it was worth it after Mum dried them off with the big, fluffy, towels and kissed their noses, as she would then let them snuggle in with her in her bed as she read a whole chapter of Harry Potter. They had started it last year and both twins were utterly hooked on the magical world. Emma wanted nothing more than to be a Gryffindor and have adventures like Harry.

"That's it Kittens," Mum said firmly as she snapped the book shut, "time for bed."

"But _Mum_!" Emma whined. "It's still early! One more chapter! _Pleas_ e!"

"Yes Mum," Hugo chipped in pleadingly, "just one more chapter. _Please!_ "

"Nope!" Mum shook her head. "It's eight o'clock and time for bed. You know the rules." Emma pouted defiantly but Hugo folded instantly and kissed Mum on the cheek goodnight. "Night, night baby," Mum replied warmly as she hugged Hugo tightly. Hugo, the traitor he is, then sloped off to bed leaving Emma sulking on her parents' bed and to fend herself. Mum held her arms out insistently. Emma would like to say she held out but sadly, like Dad, she couldn't resist her Mum's big blue eyes staring pleadingly at her, and she soon crawled into her Mum's embrace and snuggled in deeply against her Mum's shoulder. Mum smelt like baked goods, flowers, and something really, extra, nice. It was one of the best smells in the world. "Night, night, Em," Mum murmured.

"Night, night Mummy," Emma replied before she pressed a kiss on Mum's cheek, "See you in the morning."

She got another kiss on her forehead and soon enough Emma was tightly tucked into bed. Her bed was amazingly soft and comfortable and warm and toasty….

…and she couldn't sleep.

Emma was restless. She tossed, she turned, she rolled into different positions, she cuddled up to her Ladybug and Chat Noir dolls, but nothing helped her fall asleep. She just couldn't! Eventually it all got too much and she kicked off her blankets and decided to go in hunt for a Midnight snack.

Perhaps she would find some more extra-nice cookies….

Slowly, quietly, she padded along the corridor and she was just about to go down the stairs when she saw him. He was tall, blonde, wore lots of black, had his arms all over Mum, and was _most certainly not her Dad_. She crouched down, suddenly incapable of standing, eyes wide, as she took in the horrifying sight. Her Mum's arms were wrapped round the strange man's neck and his own hands were round her waist like Dad's usually would be. Emma barely stifled a gasp as the man pulled her mother in close and his lips suddenly covered hers.

Emma was frozen for a solid minute as she watched her mother passionately kiss another man.

And then she suddenly remembered how to use her legs and whirled round hurriedly. She dashed down the corridor, slammed open Hugo's bedroom door, and dived onto his bed.

"Hugo! Hugo!" she cried out as she shook her brother. "Wake up! Wake up! Hugo, _you got to wake up!"_

"Huh?" Hugo groaned sleepily. "What's the matter?" he slurred. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No!" Emma shook her head. "You will never believe it!" she declared. "But Hugo," she lowered her voice to a whisper, " _I saw Mummy kiss Chat Noir!_ "


	2. Chapter 2

" _I saw Mummy kiss Chat Noir_!"

Hugo blinked as he took in his sister's flushed face, her heavy breathing from obviously running to his room, and the wild, crazed, look that made her green eyes sparkle in the dark and sighed heavily as he sat up. It was way too late for him having to deal with this latest bout of restlessness.

"You woke me up," he said grumpily, "for a _dream_?"

"It wasn't a dream!" Emma snapped furiously. "I couldn't sleep and went to get some milk," and cookies undoubtedly, Emma always had a sweet tooth, "when I saw them downstairs. They were _kissing_! Their hands were _all over_ one another!"

"Em, you're saying that Mum, _our Mum_ , was kissing another man that _wasn't_ Dad," Hugo said irritably, "of course it was a dream! Mum would _**never**_ kiss anyone else. She and Dad are so in love it's gross."

"I know what I saw!" Emma fumed. "I'm not making it up! Mum is having a passionate torrid affair with Chat Noir!"

It was in this moment that Hugo finally understood why Mum said Aunt Chloe was a bad influence. There was no way Emma could have known those words from anywhere else other than Aunt Chloe's trashy romance novels that she read to them instead of Harry Potter whenever she babysat.

"Em, it's after Midnight," Hugo said tiredly, "I'm sleepy and we have school tomorrow. Go back to bed."

"But Hugh-"

" _Goodnight_ Emma!"

And with that he rolled over and firmly kept his eyes shut. Emma tried to prod him awake but Hugo was equally stubborn and after five minutes of being ignored Emma let out a furious huff before she stalked out of Hugo's bedroom and stomped her back to her own. Hugo sighed blissfully, enjoying the peace before he slipped into a peaceful, if too short thanks to a certain twin sister, sleep.

Emma obviously didn't get enough sleep either as she looked like death warmed over at the breakfast table. She poked at her eggs sleepily as she watched their blissfully ignorant and happy father at the stove. There was a loud clattering sound as he could hear Mum finally make her way to the kitchen.

"Good morning!"

Mum's smile was so radiant and warm that Hugo couldn't help but smile back despite his tiredness and earlier grumpiness. "Morning Mum," he replied as he leaned in for a kiss on his cheek.

Emma stayed stubbornly silent as she kept her eyes down at her eggs and Dottie let out a happy gurgle from behind the hand in her mouth as she waved the other at Mum. Mum kissed Dottie's forehead before she moved over to Dad. Instantly she turned a weird chalky colour as she got close to the stove and a hand flew over her mouth for a moment.

"Good Morning, Princess," Dad said cheerfully as he turned to face her. The frying pan with two, big, bright sunny eggs (Dad decided to fry them instead of scrambling them this morning) was waved under Mum's nose and she pulled a face at the same time Dad planted a kiss on her cheek. "Eggs?" he offered brightly.

"No thanks," Mum said quickly as she moved away from the frying pan. Her eyes landed on Emma and an exasperated expression flashed across her face. " _Emma_!" she cried out. "Your hair!" Hugo didn't even know why Mum bothered. Emma hated brushing her hair and avoided the task whenever she could. Mum rummaged in her handbag for her hair brush. "Come here," she said, "let me-"

Emma stood up abruptly at that. Her chair made a horrible screeching noise against the kitchen floor. "I'll deal with it myself!" she snapped.

And then she suddenly stormed out of the kitchen in a great huff leaving both of their parents to blink bewilderedly at the door. Even Dottie looked stunned as she went unnaturally still and stared after Emma.

"Erm… I'll go and check on her," Hugo said awkwardly as he stood up. "You know," he added hastily," to see if she's all right." And before his parents could protest or go themselves, he rushed out to the hallway where Emma was tugging furiously at the tangles in her hair with her fingers. "What's _wrong_ with you?!" he hissed furiously.

Emma whirled round. Her green eyes blazing angrily. " _Did you see that?_!" she snarled back.

"You being rude to Mum?" Hugo asked snarkily. "Yeah, I was sitting right there."

" _No!_ " Emma stomped a foot. "Mum gagging when Dad kissed her cheek!"

"Mum gagging when Dad put the frying pan under her nose," Hugo corrected her, "she's sick of eggs. We all are. There's nothing wrong with that."

"She's sick of _Dad_!" Emma said despairingly. "That was why she was kissing Chat Noir last night!"

"You're being ridiculous," Hugo informed her, "Mum wouldn't-"

"Kids," Mum called out softly. The pair of them stiffened, Hugo closed his mouth tightly and Emma bit her lip in an effort to stay quiet. Mum appeared oblivious as she held up their lunch boxes. "Time for school."

The day blurred for Hugo as they went through the usual routine. It was Mum's turn to take them to school and Hugo could barely remember her goodbyes before they trudged into the school. Lessons went by quickly as Hugo had to force his attention on the subject, his mind kept wandering to his twin's hurt, tearful, expression. He had been so sure that she had been dreaming before but Emma has never let her nightmares bother her like this. Then again, it wasn't exactly a normal nightmare….

They ended up drawing again in the afternoon and Hugo barely glanced at the blank paper as Emma scribbled furiously. Usually she drew something nice, like their family, or kittens and puppies, or rainbows but this time she went for something much darker as gleefully added a few more arrows into what Hugo could only assume was Chat Noir.

"…that is very unusual of you Emma," their teacher said diplomatically, "very…violent," she added uneasily, "was Chat Noir in an Akuma battle?" she asked hopefully.

"No," Emma replied darkly, "he's getting his just deserts," and then she smiled as sweetly as possible up at their teacher, "can I have another red pencil? I need more blood."

Hugo groaned quietly to himself.

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There was a spring in his step when Adrien left work early that afternoon.

It wasn't that he _hated_ work but the fact remained he never enjoyed the meetings, the paperwork, and the schedule. He did it for two very important reasons; none of which involved him actually wanting or enjoying it.

The first, and most important of them all, was that it made Marinette happy. She had protested a million times before that she could happily design clothes for her own small business if it meant that Adrien was actually doing what he wanted to do. But all Adrien wanted to do was make Marinette's dreams come true and to see her smile, so he endured all the boring bits of running a fashion label, the paperwork, the meetings, the boring schedule, all so Marinette could make her ideas come to life.

The second reason was his father.

It was the same reason why he still lived in the Agreste Mansion, Adrien felt he _had to_ uphold his father's legacy. That he had to see his father's empire still thriving. His father had poured his sweat, tears (if he ever shed any), and blood into this business and Adrien felt it as his duty to make sure it carried on.

But mostly he did it for Marinette.

Despite that fact though he could never help but feel gleeful when it was his turn to pick up the children. There was just something enjoyable about leaving work at quarter to three while everyone else was stuck doing the paperwork.

And the fact he had a whole evening with his children made it all the better.

He got to the school long before the final bell rang and grinned when he spotted Emma and Hugo walking out together. Emma saw him first and immediately lit up with Marinette's smile as she dashed forwards towards him. "Daddy!" she cried out gleefully.

Adrien caught her into a tight embrace as she barrelled right into him. "Hey Little Lady!" he replied enthusiastically. He was relieved to see that her earlier stroppiness had melted away and his little girl was back to her usual bright self. "How was school?"

"Boring."

Adrien chuckled at that before he turned to Hugo. The blonde boy wasn't as affectionate as his sister (not at school at least, it wouldn't be _cool_ ) but he still stepped in close to Adrien's side. "And you, Little Man?" Adrien asked as he squeezed Hugo's shoulder. "Did you find school boring?"

"It was okay," Hugo shrugged. "It was school."

Adrien struggled to suppress his amusement as he started to usher the children out of the school grounds and towards the car. They only got a few steps when the children's teacher suddenly appeared and tapped his shoulder.

"Mr Agreste?" she said politely. "May I have a word with you?"

Adrien blinked, puzzled for a moment, and then he smiled back with equal politeness. "Of course," he replied. He motioned for the children to wait for him as he stepped away with their teacher. The young woman shifted nervously as they stood in awkward silence. "What is the problem?" Adrien prompted.

"Emma…." Adrien stiffened. He had hoped Emma's bad mood vanished at school before it got noticed. His little girl was an angel….but only if she wanted to be, and when she was cranky, she certainly didn't want to be an angel. "Emma has not been herself today," the teacher said diplomatically, "Is everything all right at home?"

"Things are perfectly fine," Adrien reassured the concerned woman. "Has Emma been acting out?" he asked worriedly.

"No, no," the teacher said hastily," perhaps I'm just worried over nothing. Sorry, Mr Agreste," she apologised, "I'm just being over-cautious. Emma is a wonderfully bright girl, as is her brother, they are both wonderful children."

Adrien reassured the teacher that it was all right and thanked her for her concern. He then ushered his children into the car and headed towards his in laws where his youngest was waiting to be picked up. He carried on determinedly with the usual routine with a happy smile.

But the words niggled at his mind the whole journey home even when he had been momentarily distracted by the baked goods Marinette's parents insisted both he and the children consume before they went home ("just don't tell Mummy," Adrien winked at his children as he helped himself to a second éclair.). It worried him. Emma's attitude this morning and the fact her teacher noticed something off about her, worried him deeply. Could something be wrong? Was she unwell? Was she being bullied? Had something happened and he had just not noticed?

Was he such a terrible father that he hadn't noticed something had happened to his own children?

Adrien watched Emma carefully when they got home as he helped both her and Hugo through their homework. She was a little paler than normal and there were big shadows under her eyes but then again Emma never slept properly to begin with. She was too restless. And yet there was something a little sadder about her. There was a little less brightness in his precious little girl than there was before.

When it turned six and Adrien made a move to heat up the dinner Marinette left in the fridge (he would be hurt that she didn't trust him to cook for their children but seeing as every time he tried to do something more than eggs something tended to set fire, it was probably for the best that she didn't), Marinette suddenly stumbled into the house exhausted and taking him by surprise.

" _Marinette?_!" Adrien exclaimed as he wrapped his arms round her. She leaned into his touch and snuggled deeply as he held all the more tightly. "What are you doing home?" he murmured against her hair. "Aren't you supposed to be working late tonight?"

Working late was their code for Night Patrol. One of them would work till about eight in the evening before they transformed and did a quick patrol. They took in turns with the help of their other team members, Volpina and Queen Bee.

It had surprised them, more ways than one, when the two of them shown up after two years of fighting Hawk Moth by themselves. But then Volpina and Queen Bee turned out to be worth their weight in gold with their never-ending support and friendship.

After all they were Alya and Chloe.

Between the four of them they had every night covered but this week, and for the rest of the month, Chloe was away for business as she tried to establish another new sister hotel in her franchise which left Alya, Adrien, and Marinette cover the night patrols. Tonight was supposed to be Marinette's turn for patrol.

Marinette pulled away and gave him a tired smile. "Alya was restless," Marinette lied. She avoided his eyes like she always did when she lied and bit her lip. "She wanted to get some air and stretch her legs."

Adrien would have pressed for the truth but Hugo chose that moment to wander in and ask about dinner. Marinette happily took over and they enjoyed a meal that was most certainly not burnt like it would have been if Adrien had cooked it. They had a nice, quiet, evening together getting the children bathed and ready for bed. They curled up together, Marinette tucked under one of Adrien's arms and Emma under the other, with Hugo settled against Marinette's side, Dottie long tucked into bed, as Marinette read to the children.

When it was finally time for actual bed, Adrien took over tucking in duties and after he got Hugo settled (which was never difficult), he took advantage of his time alone to find out what was bothering Emma.

Adrien smiled warmly down at his daughter as he knelt beside her. "Hey Little Lady," he murmured.

Emma smiled back weakly. "Hi Dad," she mumbled.

"So…your teacher said you've not been yourself today," Adrien said tactfully, "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly. Emma shook her head rapidly and he sighed slightly. He didn't want to press her but at the same time he didn't want her to bottle up whatever it is that was bothering her. He had learned the hard way that you shouldn't repress your negative feelings. "You know that you can tell me anything," he encouraged her.

Emma's lip wobbled at that. "No I can't!" she wailed. She then pulled away and rolled over so that her back was towards him as she burrowed deeply into her covers. Adrien sat there, his eyes wide in shock, as he had one arm up helplessly.

"Emma-"

"Just go away!" Emma shouted. "I can't tell you! I just _can't!_ "

Adrien protested but Emma kept shrugging him off and there was only so much prodding he could do before he drove her away completely. So with a heavy heart, he gave up. "Okay, Little Lady," he murmured, "good night. I love you."

Emma mumbled something in reply but it was muffled by her pillow. Reluctantly, Adrien left her room and began to make his way to his own bedroom. "Don't worry about it, kid," Plagg said as he poked his head out from Adrien's suit jacket pocket. "Kids act out all the time. She'll be her usual self by tomorrow. You'll see."

"Emma used to be able to tell me _everything_ ," Adrien said, "She's never kept secrets before. _Never_."

" _Pfft_!" Plagg snorted. "She does. Trust me, she does. Who else do you think it was that ate Tiki's cookies?"

" _Fine_!" Adrien huffed. "Emma keeps secrets about her own bad behaviour but she doesn't keep secrets about what's _upsetting_ her. She's shutting me out. She's never done that before." Adrien halted to a stop as a horrible thought popped into his head. "Plagg…" he said hesitatingly. "Do you think she hates me? That she resents me not being around as often as I can? _Ouch_!" Adrien yelped. "Why the hell did you _bite me_?!"

"New policy," Plagg announced, "every time something incredibly stupid comes out of your mouth I'm going to bite you. What do you mean _she resents you not being around as often as you can_?! You're the most hands on parent I have ever had for a Chat Noir. You're there for everything, every illness, every school play, every evening when you don't have patrol, just _everything_. Trust me Adrien," Plagg met his eyes dead on with a serious, solemn, look, "you are a far better father than your father ever was. Your children adore you. You have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," Adrien mumbled, "yeah," he said a little more confidently and loudly, "you're right."

"Of course I am," Plagg preened. "Now where is my camembert? I need to wash out the taste of your cologne out of my mouth."

Adrien rolled his eyes.

But he gave Plagg a giant piece of camembert regardless. By the time he finally got to his bedroom, Marinette was already sprawled out on their bed fast asleep. Tiki was curled up on her pillow beside her. Adrien smiled fondly as he readied for bed and then he too climbed in beside his wife and pulled her close.

Marinette had skipped night patrol this evening.

Marinette was usually the very definition of professionalism and therefore she would never skip night patrol unless she was either dead or Tiki was refusing to transform her. And since she was obviously not dead, that meant Tiki was refusing to transform her.

This fact coupled with the fact that Marinette was paler than usual, more tired and sluggish than she usually was, her blatant nausea in the mornings, and the fact her breasts were fuller and bigger again, all lead to one conclusion…

…Adrien wondered when Marinette was going to tell him that she was pregnant again.

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Emma almost believed that she had imagined the whole thing like Hugo had suggested. It had been two whole days since she had seen Mum kiss Chat Noir and everything was the same as it was before. The usual routine was kept, Mum and Dad still gazed at one another lovingly, and there was nothing to suggest that anything was wrong whatsoever.

And then Emma overheard Mum on the phone.

She knows it's wrong. Her Mum told her off plenty of times before about eavesdropping but she had just been walking past when she heard her Mum cry out; "I can't tell him just yet!" and immediately she halted to a stop and found herself leaning against the door to the living room.

"I want to tell him," Mum said sadly, "but too soon." There is a beat of silence, Emma peered through the crack of the door and she could see her mother pacing up and down the room with a stressed look on her face. "I'm not being silly!" Mum protested. "All right, all right," Mum said hastily, "I'll tell Adrien," she promised. " _Soon_ ," she said forcefully, "Now I've got to go," Mum said. She turned to the door and Emma quickly ducked out of sight and pressed herself against the wall before her mother could catch her. "Yeah, bye," Mum said happily, "love you too."

Emma's heart stopped for a second.

She had heard enough phone conversations like that in Aunt Chloe's soap operas to know what it meant. Mum had been talking to Chat Noir. Mum had been talking about telling Dad about Chat Noir. Talking about _leaving_ Dad for Chat Noir.

Which meant there was no doubt about it anymore.

Her mother was having an affair with Chat Noir.

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It was almost Midnight and Hugo was not asleep.

This was the second time this week and his irritation was beginning to rise.

"This is _ridiculous_!" Hugo hissed as he and Emma crouched down by the bannister. Somehow, some way, his twin had convinced him to have a stake out. Dad was working late again and Emma was certain that meant Chat Noir was going to come visit. "It's late, it's cold, and we're going to be in so much trouble if Mum catches us. Let's just go back to bed and forget all about this."

"No way!" Emma cried out. "We're going to stay here until Chat Noir shows up and then you're going to see that I'm right and that I'm not making this up."

Hugo sighed as he slumped down so he could lay on his stomach. It had been a couple hours since they had snuck out and he was so very tired. He wants to so very much go to bed but Emma was determined and if he did this, and nothing happened, then maybe, just maybe, they could let the whole thing drop and go back to their normal lives.

"Why don't you believe me?" Emma murmured sadly. "Why don't you believe that I'm not lying?"

"Because," Hugo whispered, "I don't want it to be true."

"I don't want it to be true either!" Emma whispered back hardly. "But I did see it, and I saw Mum gagging when Dad kissed her, and I heard her on the phone. She's having an affair! She's _kissing_ Chat Noir!"

Hugo wanted to argue this.

He wanted to tell Emma that she was wrong, that what she had seen was a dream, and that she had misunderstood Mum. That there's no way Mum could ever leave Dad for some superhero because she loved Dad more than anything else in the world. He wanted to tell her to stop this nonsense for once and for all so they could both go back to bed.

But he couldn't.

Because right there and then, at that very moment, a blonde man walked past downstairs. A blonde man that couldn't possibly be their father because Dad would never wear black leather…

Chat Noir had just entered the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Chat Noir was in their house again.

It was no surprise to Emma since she had seen him a couple of days ago but for Hugo it seemed to be a big shock. Her twin's mouth dropped wide open and his eyes looked as if they could pop out of his head. She would have told him 'I told you so' but Mum walked out of the living room and beamed radiantly when she caught sight of Chat Noir.

Emma felt like she had just been punched because it was the exact same smile Mum would give Dad, complete with adoring eyes, and she was giving it to _another man_.

"Chat Noir!" Mum cried out in mock surprise. "What is one of Paris' greatest heroes doing in the house of an ordinary, simple, designer?"

"You're hardly ordinary or simple, Princess," Chat Noir purred out, "in fact," he grabbed Mum's hand and pulled her close. They were flushed against one another and Emma couldn't see a single centimetre of space between them as Mum's arms suddenly looped round Chat Noir's neck and her nose brushed against his. Emma swallowed back the bile rushed up her throat. "You are the most bewitching and enchanting woman of Paris," Chat Noir murmured, "I couldn't resist your allure."

"I'm a married woman," Mum chided softly.

 _ **Finally!**_ Emma relaxed a little and she could hear Hugo let out a soft little sigh of relief. It was about time Mum remembered that Dad existed and that she shouldn't be kissing other men.

"You know what they say, Princess," Chat Noir chuckled (deviously, Emma decided, it was an evil laugh), "when the husband is away, the cat comes out to play."

"What an idiot!" Emma whispered. "Even I know it's when the cat's away, the mice come out to play. "

" _Shh_!" Hugo hissed. "I think he's just twisting it to be clever."

"Well he's not clever!" Emma whispered as loudly as possible. "He's-"

" _Shh_!" Hugo hissed again. "I can't hear them!"

Emma glanced at her mother again and immediately felt sick. Mum mumbled something against Chat Noir's lips – she was _that close_ to him! – As her head suddenly tilted naturally and her lips slanted over his. It was a long, disgusting, kiss. Emma had only seen kisses like this in Aunt Chloe's soaps (which she most certainly is not allowed to tell Mum and Dad that Aunt Chloe let's her stay up late to watch them) it was, to Emma, messy and sloppy but for some reason both Mum and Chat Noir enjoyed it very much as they both groaned into their kiss. Mum moaned loudly as Chat Noir suddenly grabbed her bum and did a little jump into the superhero's arms, her legs wrapped themselves round his waist as her fingers threaded into his hair and made it messier.

Chat Noir then wrenched his lips away from Mum's and panted loudly. "I think," Chat Noir gasped out, "that it is time for bed, Princess."

"Are you trying to tell me that I need my beauty sleep?" Mum teased.

"Trust me, Princess," Chat Noir growled, "You won't be sleeping."

They kissed again as Chat Noir started to stumble down the corridor trying to keep Mum trapped in his arms. Emma didn't know what was going to happen next or if she even wanted to see it as Hugo suddenly tugged her pyjama top sleeve. " _Come on_!" he hissed. "They're coming up the stairs!"

Emma scrambled to get up on her feet and allowed her brother to drag her down the corridor as they both ran as fast as they could. As soon as they got to Hugo's room they slammed the door shut and slumped against it.

It took a while for them to catch their breaths.

"See!" Emma burst out tearfully. "I told you! _I told you so_!" there was no triumph in being right this time round. Any other day Emma would glory in the fact that she was right about something but this time round, for the first time, she really wished she had been wrong. "I saw Mummy kiss Chat Noir!"

"Yes," Hugo replied numbly, "I know. I saw it too."

"Mummy is having an affair!" Emma wailed. "She's cheating on Daddy! Our family is going to be broken apart!"

"No," Hugo said quietly but firmly. His blue eyes turned steely with stubbornness and his mouth was set in a grim line. "No that won't happen. I won't let it." He grabbed Emma's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Don't worry Em," he said softly, "I have a plan."

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Hugo's plan was simple.

They get Ladybug to tell Chat Noir to leave their mother alone.

"How do you know that Chat Noir would listen to Ladybug?" Emma asked sceptically the moment that Hugo announced his brilliant idea. "He might decide to do his own thing. We've seen enough battles on the blog to know that he tends to ignore the plan and just jump right in. And _how,_ " she added even more sceptically which was quite insulting, "are you going to ask Ladybug to tell Chat Noir this in the first place?"

"First," Hugo explained calmly, "if you paid attention to a lot of those videos you know that the only person Chat Noir listens to is _Ladybug_. I bet you anything if Ladybug told him to stay away from Mum, he will. That's why the plan is so brilliant and simple," he mentally patted himself on the back for that because Emma was obviously not going to do it, "as for your second question, well, that's easy. We ask Aunt Alya to arrange a meeting."

" _Aunt Alya_!" Emma cried out horrified. "But she'll tell Mum!"

"No she won't" Hugo said patiently, "because she won't know it's us asking for the message to be passed on."

" _What?!"_

Hugo sighed as his sister blinked at him rapidly as she tried to figure out what she, obviously, thought was a bout of stupidity. "Think about it, Em!" he exclaimed. "We leave a message on the Ladyblog requesting Ladybug to talk to Chat Noir about his bad behaviour and Aunt Alya will surely pass it on. Ladybug will do it because she's Ladybug and Chat Noir will obey her. Which means Chat Noir stops kissing Mum and Mum will stay with Dad, and we will live happily ever after."

"Yeah," Emma said hesitatingly, "but what will stop Aunt Alya telling Mum we messaged her on the blog?"

"We'll post it secretly," Hugo replied, "Aunt Alya has a thing where you can post without saying your name or email address. Something about respecting privacy. We'll leave an unsigned message and I bet you anything it will all be sorted out by next week."

"You really think so?" Emma asked hopefully.

"I do," Hugo said confidently, "everything is going to be all right, Em." Hugo gave his sister's hand another reassuring squeeze. "You'll see. Now come on," he grumbled, "it's time to go to sleep."

But sleep sadly did not come easy for either twin and Hugo found himself staring up at his ceiling wide eyed as he thought long and hard about how to word his message to the Ladyblog. Aunt Alya's blog was famous and popular and launched Aunt Alya's entire journalist career. He had to write a really good message to get his Aunt's attention sometime this year. The sun was barely up when Emma tip-toed back into his room and together they were able to post a short, simple but polite, message on the Ladyblog.

 _Dear Madam,_

 _We are sorry for bothering you but we would like to request an audience with Ladybug to discuss Chat Noir's lewd behaviour. He has to be stopped, and soon, but we have no idea how to go about it. You are our only hope, so please, pass this on to Ladybug and ask her to stop Chat Noir for us._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Concerned Citizens of Paris._

"What does lewd mean?" Emma asked once they had posted their message. "I've never heard that word before."

"It means naughty."

"Oh," Emma mumbled, "how do you know that?" she demanded to know.

"I looked up words to make us sound older," Hugo said sheepishly, "I didn't want Aunt Alya to think a pair of seven years old posted it and ignore it."

"Oh, makes sense," Emma said, "do you think it'll work?" she asked for what felt like the thousandth time this last hour.

Hugo would be insulted that she had such little faith in him but he understood why she was so worried. He was really worried too.

"Of course it will," he said forcefully, "it _has to_!"

Emma nodded and they fell into an uncomfortable and awkward silence. Eventually they managed to drag themselves away from the computer after Hugo pointed out to both himself and Emma (because he needed to hear someone say it and of course, as the sensible twin, it had to be him to say it) that Aunt Alya wasn't going to reply anytime soon and it would be horrible to just sit there and wait.

So they tried to play a game though neither of them were really into it and it was a good couple hours later when Hugo's bedroom door creaked open and Dad peered round. "And what exactly are you two doing up bright and early on this Saturday morning?" he asked amused. "Surely you should be enjoying the chance of a nice lie in."

"DADDY!"

Emma jumped up from the floor and flung herself at Dad. Hugo was not far behind and Dad laughed good-naturedly as he ruffled both of their hairs and pulled them into for a tight, one-armed, embrace. "And Good Morning to you," Dad grinned, "what do I owe the pleasure of such a greeting?"

"Dad," Hugo leaned into his father's warm touch and took great comfort in the reassurance of his Dad just being there, "when did you get home?!"

"Very late last night," Dad replied grimly.

It must have been very, very, _very_ late last night if Chat Noir didn't come over till almost Midnight and was able to get all of his kissing done and disappear before Dad got back home. On one hand, Hugo was thankful his Dad had been spared the awful sight but on the other hand…

"You should come home earlier," he said firmly.

" _Yes_!" Emma agreed eagerly. "Come home earlier!"

A pained look flickered across Dad's face but before Hugo could question it, he dragged both Hugo and Emma closer for a tighter, more smothering, hug. Hugo buried his face into Dad's chest and took comfort from the warmth and reassurance as well as the strange scent that was a mix of Dad's cologne, the fabric conditioner their clothes were washed in, and, for reasons Hugo never understood, cheese. "I'm sorry," Dad murmured as he rubbed the back of Hugo's head gently. "I'll try to be home more often," he promised.

There was a sudden sad mood in the rom that Hugo didn't get but as he looked up to ask, Dad suddenly leaned in and kissed his forehead before he turned and kissed Emma's forehead too . Then, with a sadder smile, Dad asked; "how about we wake Mum up for some pancakes?"

"Yes!" Emma cried out. And Hugo couldn't help but beam at the thought of having anything other than eggs for breakfast for the first time in forever (okay, last Sunday Mum made waffles but that certainly felt like an eternity ago now). "Pancakes with chocolate!"

Dad laughed at that. "We'll see what Mum says," he said and then suddenly he scooped both Hugo and Emma up and carried them out of the room. Hugo instinctively grabbed hold of his Dad's neck to keep his balance and his hands met with his sister's as she did the same. Hugo marvelled at his Dad's strength to carry them both at the same time before he rested his head against his Dad's shoulder and relaxed.

Emma also rested her head against Dad's other shoulder and together they shared a contented smile.

His plan was going to work. He was sure of it. And everything was going to be all right, and they were all going to enjoy pancakes together as a family like they always did and always will.

And as for Chat Noir?

Well, he can find someone else's Mum to kiss. Theirs was already _taken._

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Emma struggled to pretend that nothing was wrong.

It was a Saturday which usually meant both Mum and Dad were home (unless for some reason they get called in for work) and that Mum made breakfast, and everyone played games, and did things together, and it was always so nice, warm, and fun.

But Emma couldn't enjoy it.

Emma couldn't enjoy the pancakes, couldn't enjoy all the attention from her parents, couldn't enjoy a day without school, and she certainly couldn't enjoy a day full of games. She just _couldn't._ Because she had seen Mum kiss Chat Noir and that meant everything today was a lie.

"Have you heard anything from Aunt Alya yet?" Emma whispered.

"No," Hugo whispered back, "Stop asking. Mum and Dad are going to notice."

And he was right.

Mum noticed almost right away that something was wrong. Hugo was better at hiding his feelings and had been able to throw himself into teaching Dottie patter-cake but Emma hadn't been able to do more than curl up on the sofa and try to watch cartoons. Mum slipped onto the sofa beside her with a soft smile of concern on her face.

"Are you all right, Em?"

"Mmm…" Emma mumbled in reply.

Mum reached out and grabbed Emma's shoulder with a gentle but firm squeeze. Emma couldn't help but meet her mother's soulful gaze. At an instant all of her anger suddenly vanished.

All of her anger towards Mum that was.

Mum was _everything_.

She made home….well _home_. Mum was the reason why Dad was so happy, Mum was the reason why this big, drafty, house smelt like a bakery, felt warm, and looked cosy. Mum made all the meals special even when she wasn't there and every stitch of Emma's clothing had been personally designed by Mum. She made boring days wonderful and the worst of tasks fun. Emma loved her Mum to pieces and she couldn't stay mad at her even if she wanted to.

And Emma didn't want to be mad with her Mum.

 _It was all Chat Noir's fault_ , Emma decided, _Chat Noir is seducing her._

Mum would never cheat on Dad otherwise. Mum was as devoted and mad about Dad as Dad was about her. So it had to be Chat Noir's fault. _It just had to be_!

Emma caved in completely and flung her arms round Mum as she buried her face into Mum's chest. She snuggled in deep, soaking in the warmth and comfort her mother's arms provided her, as Mum's arms wrapped round her just as tightly. "Emma, sweetheart," Mum said pleadingly, " _talk to me_. I can't fix it if you don't tell me what the problem is." _The problem is that you've been kissing Chat Noir_! Emma wanted to scream but instead she just shook her head rapidly. "Are you being bullied?" Mum asked worriedly. Emma shook her head rapidly again. "Please," Mum ran a hand through Emma's hair, "talk to me, Kitten."

And that was when Emma snapped.

There wasn't a lot that Emma knew about baby-making. She had asked Mum and Dad when Mum was pregnant with Dottie and both of them turned an interesting shade of pink and stammered and stuttered a lot. Emma didn't understand their explanation at all but the general gist that she got from Playground talk was that baby-making involved a lot of kissing and usually in the bedroom.

And she knew that you didn't have to be married to do it either.

Mum certainly had been doing a lot of kissing with Chat Noir and in the bedroom too judging by last night.

Mum said that she calls Emma and Hugo _Kittens_ because they used to wiggle around and mew like kittens in their bassinette but what if there was another reason for her to call them that?

What if Emma was Chat Noir's daughter?

" **NO**!" Emma bellowed as she suddenly shoved Mum away. Mum looked hurt but Emma immediately pushed the guilt away in order to stay angry this time. "Don't call me _that"_ she hissed. "I'm not a Kitten! I'm a human girl. A normal girl. And I _hate_ cats! I hate all things to do with cats. I hate Hello Kitty and I hate Top Cat and that stupid talking cat in that witch show, and I _especially hate Chat Noir_!"

She turned to leave when she stumbled into Dad. Poor Dad who looked pale and shaky as his green eyes were filled with hurt. Emma swallowed back some horrible bile and immediately pushed past to run away from all of this.

" _Emma_!" Hugo cried out. "Wait!"

She ignored him until she made it to the safety of her bedroom when she did she whirled round and immediately burst into tears. "I can't help doing this, Hugh!" she said desperately. "I just hate it all _so much_!"

"So do I, Em," Hugo said as he hugged her, "so do I," he repeated, "but it will work out. I promise you. Everything is going to be all right."

Emma sniffled and wiped her eyes as she tried to smile. It obviously didn't' work as Hugo still looked grim. "I'll be okay," she murmured, "it's just….I hate Chat Noir so much."

"I know," Hugo said, "I do too."

And with that, they sank into a dreadful silence as they carried on waiting for Aunt Alya to get back to them.

And Emma thought weekends were supposed to be fun.

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Marinette's first instinct was to chase after Emma and get her to talk.

Emma had a temper but she had never been this _upset_ about something before and it worried Marinette half to death. But Marinette knew if she pushed too hard, Emma was only going to push back, and that wouldn't solve _anything_. So she restrained herself and let Hugo chase after Emma instead, trusting that her much more sensible boy would get Emma to open up. Besides, one look at Adrien, and Marinette knew her priorities had to go elsewhere.

Adrien looked as if he had been sucker punched repeatedly in the stomach as his face was a chalky white, his beautiful green eyes glimmered with agony, and he couldn't quite stop shaking. Marinette was immediately at his side in order to guide him down onto the sofa as Plagg and Tiki peered round curiously from their hiding spots. "She hates me," Adrien said numbly.

"No," Marinette corrected him quickly, "she said she hates cats."

"Exactly!" Plagg chimed in. " _I'm_ the one that should be upset about this. Not _you_."

"And she said she hated Chat Noir," Adrien said bleakly, " _Me._ "

"He's saying something stupid again," Plagg observed, "quick, bite him for me Marinette."

"I can't do that," Marinette drawled, "He'll just enjoy it too much which beats the purpose of conditioning him out of saying stupid things." Plagg made a revolted noise as Tiki and Dottie both giggled (not that Dottie knew why people were giggling, _thank God_ , but the two year old always giggled in adorable delight whenever she saw the kwamis. Marinette remembered the twins being the same before pre-school and keeping it a secret meant that Plagg and Tiki had to hide from them) and Adrien managed a weak chuckle. Marinette smiled as she rested her head against Adrien's shoulder and rubbed soothing circles on the small of his back. "Emma doesn't know that you're Chat Noir," she reminded him softly, "She doesn't hate _you._ "

"But she _doe_ s!" Adrien cried out despairingly. "At the very least she hates a part of me because she hates Chat Noir."

"Emma didn't mean it, Adrien," Tiki said gently, "children claim to hate all sorts of things but they grow out of it quickly enough. It's just a phrase."

"Exactly!" Marinette agreed. "It's just _a phrase_. Emma doesn't hate you."

"I suppose," Adrien mumbled.

"Good," Marinette said firmly, "and now that is settled," it wasn't settled. Far from it. Marinette knew her husband was going to obsess over it but until she could get him to truly believe that their daughter did not hate him (which was not going to happen anytime soon) there was little point in continuing to discuss it. "Alya got an interesting message on the Ladyblog today."

"Oh yeah?" Adrien raised an eyebrow. "It wasn't another creep asking for a pair of your knickers was it?"

"No," Marinette shuddered at that particular memory. Memories. There were many creepy fans out there but thankfully not all of the attention was on her anymore. Chat Noir, Volpina, and Queen Bee all had their equal share of the weird ones themselves now. "It was an odd request to discuss Chat Noir's lewd behaviour. You haven't done something I should know about, have you Kitty?"

"Not unless you consider beating up the criminals of Paris as lewd," Adrien replied dryly, "I think Alya has fallen victim to an internet troll."

"Or it's a complaint about one of those stupid Stag parties," Plagg suggested lazily as he floated round above Dottie's head. Dottie laid back on the rug completely taken by Plagg and Tiki as she tried to reach out and grab them. "It's happened before, remember?"

Marinette and Adrien both grimaced at that. The problem with being famous superheroes? Your superhero identity quickly becomes a theme for Stag and Hen Nights which means there's plenty of drunken idiots running round with your identity doing stupid crap. There has been numerous complaints on the Ladyblog about it.

Alya personally thought it was hilarious, as did Plagg. Neither Marinette nor Adrien agreed with that particular view point.

"Perhaps," Marinette said, "but whatever the reason is I told Alya to let them know that Ladybug is out of town for a while. We've also decided to change my status on the website to out of town, like Chloe's, just for the time being." Like for another seven or so months so she could give birth to her fourth child. She knew this was probably the right time to tell Adrien but it had yet to be three months and, despite carrying three healthy babies to full term, she didn't want to chance it….besides, he was stricken over the thought his eldest daughter hated him, it was definitely not the _best_ time to tell him that he was going to have another child. "It should discourage any other attempts to prank the Ladyblog for a while," she carried on hastily, "At least in that regard."

"Sounds like a plan," Adrien smiled weakly, "My Lady."

"Hey," she murmured, "it's just a phrase remember?" she nudged Adrien lightly with her elbow. "Emma is going to be Chat Noir's number one fan again in no time."

Adrien grinned properly at that as he leaned in close so that his lips brushed against hers. "But _Princess_ ," he purred out against her lips, "I thought you were my number one fan."

She would have kissed him but Dottie reminded them of her presence as she suddenly jumped up onto her feet. "Need potty!" she announced loudly.

The mood was very much spoiled by that.

The joys of parenthood.


	4. Chapter 4

Hugo woke Emma up bright and early on Sunday morning.

Emma was incredibly unimpressed as she rolled over and tried to bury herself under the covers. "Hugh!" she groaned. "It's _Sunday_! That means no school. Let me sleep!"

"I got a reply from Aunt Alya."

And immediately Emma sat up and never looked more awake before in her life. " _And_?!" she demanded. "What did she say? Are we meeting Ladybug? Is Chat Noir going to be told off?"

Hugo's face was grim. "No," he said simply, "Aunt Alya wrote a polite reply saying that Ladybug is currently out of town and if we have any problems with Chat Noir we can either take it up with Chat ourselves or settle with making a complaint like everyone else."

" _Ladybug is out of town_?!"

Hugo nodded. "And Queen Bee," he added. "Which leaves Volpina and the fox isn't exactly known to stop mischief."

"So… we're on our own then?" Emma concluded.

"Yes," Hugo said sadly, "I'm afraid we can't trust the adults to help."

They really couldn't.

Mum was the one having the affair, they couldn't tell Dad because it would beat the point in trying to protect him, their grandparents were Mum's parents and would very likely tell Mum, as would Aunt Alya and Uncle Nino, Aunt Chloe was out of town, and now half the superhero team was also out of town leaving the guy they had the problem with and someone who was likely to encourage him for the chaos it would cause.

They were on their own.

Emma nibbled her bottom lip anxiously. "What do we do now?" she asked.

"I am working on another plan," Hugo reassured her, "but I have a lot of things to work out so it'll take a while."

Emma wanted to explode and point out that they did not have 'a while' that Chat Noir might be sneaking into Mum's bedroom window any minute now for another kiss. It had to stop _**now**_ not in 'a while' later.

But before she could open her mouth to say all of this, her bedroom door creaked open and Dottie peered round with her big blue-green eyes blinking innocently.

"Hello Dottie," Hugo smiled, "is it time for breakfast?"

"Yes," Dottie said simply.

Then a big, toothy, smile appeared as her gaze fell on the crumpled Chat Noir doll that had been abandoned on Emma's floor. It used to be one of Emma's favourites, along with the Ladybug one, Mum had made it long, long, _long_ before Emma had been born and it had been Emma's first 'teddy'. Dottie always had her eye on it since she could crawl and Emma has had many fights in an attempt to keep her doll (no matter how many times Mum said she ought to share). Now she couldn't be bothered what happened to it….not that she wanted Dottie to admire that sneaky, sly, _Mummy-seducer_!

"Cat!" Dottie squealed excitedly.

She then padded as fast as she could into Emma's rooms with her arms out wide, reaching for the doll, when Emma swooped in and snatched it away. "No," she said sternly, "you don't want anything to do with that big, fat, love rat!"

Dottie tilted her head to the side curiously. "Rat?" she repeated.

"That's right," Emma said sagely, "Chat Noir is nothing but a big, fat, rat. You understand?"

"Yes," Dottie nodded and she then pointed at the Chat Noir doll. "Big, fat, rat!" she chanted gleefully.

Emma ruffled her sister's hair at that. "Good girl," she said proudly. It was then she caught Hugo watching her with a strange, closed off, expression that always puzzled her. "What?" she demanded. "What is it?"

Hugo shook his head. "Nothing, nothing," he said mildly, "only now I know for sure I'm the good one."

Emma felt incredibly insulted at that.

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With Marinette busy designing and the children happily playing together in their bedroom, Adrien decided to do some chores to keep his mind off of things.

When he had first moved out from his father's thumb and into a little flat with Marinette he had quickly learnt that he had no life skills whatsoever. What with all the maids and cooks and gardeners his father had hired to do everything there was to do in the house, Adrien had never had to lift a single finger. The result had been almost comical if it wasn't for the fact he almost set fire to their flat multiple times in an attempt to cook dinner, actually broke the washing machine (which led to months of using the Dupain-Cheng machine under the stern eye of Sabine Cheng who ensured Adrien learnt the right measurements of detergent), and had a seriously embarrassing fight with a hoover that he does not ever wish to discuss.

 _Ever!_

But under Marinette's patient guidance, Adrien had developed the necessary skills. He still couldn't cook anything beyond eggs but he could wash and iron and hoover and unblock the toilet, and honestly that was all he needed to know.

So Sunday was spent happily doing the laundry and letting the mind-numbing task take his mind off of his problems. By the end of the afternoon he had every item of clothing worn by all five members of the family in the last week washed, dried, and ironed , and had moved on from brooding to happily whistling Disney songs.

(Whistle While You Work was the ultimate choice for a day like this no matter how clichéd Marinette said it was.)

He cheerfully continued to whistle as he carried the children's clothes up the stairs only to freeze mid-way as an out of tune whistle cut itself off and his smile slipped away. One minute he had been happily minding his own business and the next he was confronted with a horrible sight that killed his good mood completely….

….Emma's Chat Noir doll had been dangled over the banister. His head was in a noose made from one of Adrien's ties and he swung dismally side to side looking very much dead.

Adrien gulped.

Hesitatingly he reached out and untied the doll from the banister. The Chat Noir doll laid limply in his hands and looked rather sad and pathetic which was exactly how Adrien now felt. He shook his head and quickly composed himself with a fake smiled plastered on his face.

All three of his children were easily found in Dottie's room as the twins played with Dottie and her toys. All three looked bright and bubbly and so happy, that his heart skipped a beat at the sight and a genuine smile actually took over.

"Hey," he called out softly and he held up the Chat Noir doll, "I think someone has lost something."

The sparkle in Emma's eyes faded instantly as did her smile. "No," she scowled, and Adrien's stomach dropped to the ground at the look of utter hatred that seemed to be etched into her face. The sensation was made worse when Hugo's warmth vanished into a frosty glare and Dottie glanced around with a bewildered and anxious look on her face. "Chat Noir was exactly where he was supposed to be. He was being punished."

"Oh?" Adrien tried to sound light and intrigued but he was ashamed to admit it came out strained. "What is Chat Noir being punished for?"

"He knows _why_ he's being punished."

Yes, Adrien suspected he did.

The atmosphere suddenly turned awkward as silence hung heavily between them. Adrien felt the guilt weighing down on him more and more as the seconds dragged out. Then Marinette suddenly let out a squawk of surprise behind him as she suddenly tripped over one of Emma's toys.

" _Emma_!" Marinette cried out as she staggered across the room. "What have I told you about keeping your room tidy?"

"Erm…not to?"

Adrien didn't know how Marinette could ever resist the innocent yet, contradictorily, mischievous smile that was on Emma's face but Marinette stood firm and gave their daughter a little playful flick on the nose like she would do as Ladybug to Chat Noir. "Enough cheek, Ki- erm, _Madam_ ," Marinette hastily corrected herself as she belatedly remembered Emma's outburst last night, "you tidy your room while I get dinner sorted and maybe, just _maybe_ , I'll read _two_ chapters of Harry Potter tonight."

Adrien has only ever seen Emma move that quickly when there was sweets to be had. Hugo dashed out to ensure his own room was tidy while Marinette swept Dottie up in her arms and took her to the kitchen which left Adrien to finish his task at hand and his own thoughts to dwell on. While the rest of the family went through dinner and their usual evening routine happily, Adrien struggled to keep a smile on his face as his mind was plagued with thoughts.

His late nights and many meetings had obviously been too much.

The twins wanted him home more.

They resented that his wasn't home more often and so they took it out on his alter ego. They had obviously, subconsciously, recognised Chat Noir for who he was and hated him for it.

Another reason why Adrien wasn't home more often.

While Marinette got the twins bathed, ready for bed, and kept her promise of _two_ chapters of Harry Potter, Adrien got Dottie bathed and tucked in. his baby girl cheered him up some with a delightful laugh as she played with the bubbles in the bath and the way she snuggled close as he wrapped her in the towel. Dottie's genuine happiness and love, untainted by any resentment and hurt, was a balm to his soul and he felt himself getting lighter and lighter as he tucked Dottie into her cot.

"Night, night, my Ladybug Dot," he cooed, "sweet dreams, don't let the bed bugs bite," Dottie gazed up at him adoringly with a big smile and he leaned over close to soak it all in. "At least you still like me, my little bug," he murmured.

"Yes!" Dottie beamed as she pointed up at him. "You rat!"

And suddenly Adrien's good mood crashed all around him as he felt like he had just been shot in the heart with the very word.

Plagg's cackling did not help matters either.

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Marinette noticed that Adrien had been off all evening. He had picked at his dinner and stared in the distance with a gloomy expression. Marinette was determined to fix it, or at least provide so comfort, as she had hoped to cheer Adrien up by wearing his favourite pair of pyjamas in order to provide some much needed distraction from his thoughts.

They were a rather conservative pair, long trousers and a short sleeved top made from lilac silk, but the top was a wrap round held together by a sash that Marinette never tied up properly and the shoulders were cut out and filled in with a matching lilac lace, allowing tempting little bits of her pale skin to show through, which always induced Adrien into pinning Marinette onto the bed as he nibbled on her shoulder and tugged the sash that kept her top closed undone.

Today, however, it appeared to have no affect which was always a sign that Adrien was brooding.

Adrien was sat upright in bed but instead of reading or playing a game as he waited for her, as he usually would, he stared at the wall opposite him with a distant look on his face and his arms firmly crossed. Marinette tried to keep her eyes on his face but they were distracted by the fact Adrien was wearing a tight fitting black t-shirt that stretched over his very nicely formed biceps.

 _Damnit pregnancy hormones,_ _ **not now**_ _!_

Marinette shook her head and forced herself to focus on the task at hand. Her Kitty needed comforting and that was precisely what she's going to do. She padded across the bedroom quietly and slid into bed with ease. On instinct, Adrien lifted his arm up for her and she happily slipped beneath it as she wrapped her own arm round his waist and rested her head against his chest.

They sat there in utter silence as she soaked in his warmth and wondrous scent and the comforting sound of his heart beat against her ear. Marinette could happily spend all of eternity sitting like this but she had a task at hand and she was determined to see it though.

So she reluctantly pulled away a little bit and dragged her hand up from his waist, across his very fine torso, and up to his hair as she sifted through his silky locks soothingly. Adrien turned to gaze at her as he leaned close to her touch. "What's wrong, Kitty?" she murmured softly.

Adrien closed his eyes and drew in a breath. "The children hate me," he confessed sadly.

Marinette's eyes widened at that. Honestly, how could he believe that?! Their children _adored_ him. "No they don't!" she burst out.

Adrien's eyes shot open at that and it agonised her to see the hurt in his beautiful green eyes. "Yes they do!" he cried out abruptly. "You should have _seen_ the way Hugo looked at me today, and Emma outright despises Chat Noir with a passion I didn't know seven year olds were capable of, and Dottie called me a rat! A _rat_ , Princess!"

Marinette snorted. She didn't mean to because this was obviously distressing Adrien but the last one was just too funny to take realistically. "Sorry, sorry," she said hastily as she covered her mouth for a moment to smother a giggle. As soon as she got that under control she snuggled closer and gave Adrien a quick, comforting, squeeze. "I don't think Dottie meant to call you a rat. She probably learnt a new word and wanted to show off," she said soothingly, "She's _two_. She's going to say anything without meaning it. And I told you that Emma's hatred for all things cat has nothing to do with you personally. It's just a phase."

Adrien shook his head. "If you had seen the way they looked at me today," he said helplessly.

Marinette sighed heavily at that. "Adrien, I've seen the way they look at you every day," she said firmly as she lifted her head up to meet his eyes again. She hoped he could see the honesty, determination, and, most importantly, love she was trying to convey to him. " _Trust me_ ," she stressed, "they don't hate you. They love you very much." She reached out and stroked his jaw line with the tips of her fingers. "You're very much loved here," she murmured.

"They resent me because I'm not home often enough."

"Bullshit!" Marinette snapped irritably as she pulled away. "So you work a busy job and have a couple late nights a week. That doesn't mean you're not home often enough _at all_. You're home more often than _not_. You're the one that makes them breakfast in the morning, you're the one that gets them ready for school, you're the one that picks them up. You tuck them in more nights than not. You're there for every important event. You listen to them recount their days no matter how many times you heard the same thing before. You're _there_ Adrien, more than most parents are. It's not your personal assistant that greets them in the morning, or a bodyguard that drives them everywhere. It's you. You're not your father."

Because that's what it came down to, every time since her first pregnancy, this crippling fear Adrien had that he would turn out to be exactly like his father. Which was impossible because he was _Adrien_ – warm, kind-hearted, sweet Adrien who didn't have a mean bone in his body and wanted nothing more than the simple things in life, like spending the day on the sofa with his children and wife – not Gabriel, and Marinette would never let him put work before the family even if he had such a tendency.

But that fear still persisted and with Emma acting out like she had this weekend it reared its ugly head and plagued Adrien to not end which infuriated Marinette because he shouldn't have to be plagued by such fears. He shouldn't have to worry about this.

Marinette's fury about it had been evident in her rant and she was startled to find that she needed to catch her breath when she finally made her point.

Adrien said nothing at all.

He was obviously not going to accept that he was in fact a saint when it came to parenting nor was he was going to let go this idea of the children hating him.

Marinette's heart squeezed painfully at the thought of him being miserable at all.

"Look," Marinette said calmly, "If you want we could just sell up." She suggested. She had suggested it plenty of times before. They didn't _have to_ run a fashion label. They didn't _have to_ go to countless business meetings and work insane hours whenever Fashion week or an important show came round the corner. Adrien didn't have to do what he didn't want to do. In fact they were adults leading their own lives now, Adrien could do _whatever_ he wanted and Marinette would support him whole-heartedly. "We have so much money that neither of us need to work," she pointed out, "We could be homemakers together and be with them every second of the day if you wanted to."

Adrien shook his head as he refused to even think about it. "I couldn't do that to you," he said softly. His eyes full of love and adoration that made Marinette feel all warm and fuzzy. "You love designing."

Marinette shot him a stern look. She refused to be used as an excuse to prevent him achieving his own happiness. "As I've told you before it could just be for our family or the whole world as long as I'm _making clothes_ , I'm happy." She rested her head against his shoulder and nuzzled against his neck. "But I can't be happy," she murmured, "If you're not happy."

"I can't sell up," Adrien replied automatically, "I couldn't do that to father's legacy."

She wished she could say that Gabriel wouldn't care as long as Adrien was happy but the truth was that Gabriel would have cared that Adrien sold up. While Marinette had no doubt that Gabriel loved Adrien in his own way, the man never thought about Adrien's happiness. It had always been about the business, what Adrien would need to be able to run it and make the right connections, and never what Adrien might actually _want_.

She seriously wished that the man didn't die of a heart attack because she would dearly love to throttle the man for the deep emotional scars he had left on his son.

Marinette sensed that she was losing this particular battle, again, and that she might never be able to convince Adrien that it was all right if he wanted to be selfish. So instead she turned her attention what Adrien needed to hear most.

She pressed a loving kiss against his neck before she pulled back so she could meet his beautiful green eyes again. "I love you," she said, "and trust me – you do trust me right?" she asked with a teasing grin.

Adrien shot her his most solemn and sincere look. "Always," he said seriously.

"Then trust me on this," she said firmly, "our children love you too."

Adrien didn't look as if he believed her but he didn't argue either as he rested his forehead against hers and sighed. "I love you all so very much," he murmured.

And on that note they decided it was time to sleep.

Marinette reluctantly pulled away and got out of bed in order to turn the lights off but as soon as she was back in bed, Adrien pulled her close and held onto her tightly, and refused to let her go at all throughout the night.

But that was all right.

Marinette's favourite pillow had always been Adrien's chest.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been almost a week since Emma declared her hated for all things cat.

A week filled with awkward silences, miserable looks, random outbursts of temper on Emma's behalf, and Marinette desperately trying to hold things together as Adrien felt his heart break one little bit at a time.

And now it was Friday afternoon and after a long, tiresome, week Adrien still found himself fretting about his daughter's newfound hatred for his superhero persona.

"You think if I remind Emma how funny Chat Noir's pun are that she'll laugh and like him again?" he asked Plagg hopefully. "Emma likes my jokes, she'll love my cat puns."

"No she won't," Plagg said unhelpfully, "because when you made a cat pun on Wednesday, she walked right out of the room."

And slammed her bedroom door so hard that the foyer's chandelier shook. An impressive feat seeing how far away her bedroom actually was.

Adrien had momentarily forgotten that and now he was reminded of the horrible incident he slumped over his desk and groaned.

"I don't know why you're so upset. You've never been funny," Plagg said as he hovered lazily in the air. Adrien sat up to shoot him an irritated glare which Plagg ignored or just didn't care. "Just ask the Princess," Plagg added slyly, "besides, your kid is every bit stubborn as you _and_ your wife, it's going to take something incredibly heroic to get her over her hatred of Chat Noir and something tell me there's not going to be an opportunity any time soon."

"Plagg, I would like to think that there'll _never_ be an opportunity where Chat Noir needs to rescue Emma," Adrien said testily, "I'd rather have her safe and sound than win her over in a rescue from some nasty, traumatising, situation." Plagg shrugged as he obviously expected such an answer and then went to rifle in Adrien's desk drawers for some cheese. Adrien, however, leaned back into his chair as he mulled over Plagg's words and a different, much safer and nicer, idea came to mind. "I know what I'll do!" Adrien sat up cheerfully. "I'll pay Emma's school a visit as Chat Noir and once she sees how heroic I am she's bound to like me again!"

Plagg had now found the cheese and had torn the wrapper in pieces. "That's nice," he said distractedly as he lifted the dairy product to his lips. "Good luck with that."

"I'm glad you're on board," Adrien grinned, "Plagg! _Transform M_ e!"

"Wait! _What_?!" Plagg yelped as he was dragged away from Adrien's desk. "But what about my _cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_ -" Plagg's scream halted to a stop as he was finally dragged into Adrien's ring and the wheel of camembert landed on Adrien's carpet with a splodge.

"Well then," Chat Noir grinned and he opened his office's window, "there's no time like the _purr-_ sent. I have a Little Lady to win over."

And with that he happily leaped out of his window and used his baton to leap across the city towards his children's school.

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Marinette's entire concentration was focused on the dress design before her.

It was the last piece to be submitted for the next line and she wanted it to be _perfec_ t. She had already had to re-do the design five times this afternoon alone and it was still not coming out right. It was just missing _something_. She didn't know what, just that it was missing.

She squinted as she brushed a pencil against the paper trying to decide whether or not she should add sequins or lace or something when her studio door suddenly burst open. A twenty something year old girl stumbled in with a petrified expression on her face. Marinette couldn't remember her name for the life of her but she knew that this was Adrien's latest personal assistant.

(Who will probably quit by tomorrow judging by her distress.)

"Madame Agreste! Madame Agreste!" Adrien's personal assistant cried out. "It's awful! Horrible!" she said melodramatically. "Your husband has gone missing… _again!_ "

Marinette closed her eyes and counted to ten.

It did nothing for her irritation.

Not that she was irritated with Adrien, in fact she had been expecting something like this all week. Adrien might say he was okay with his job but the truth had always been that sometimes it was just too much. It was boring. It was full of meetings and schedules and other people's expectations. Adrien had enough of that to last him a lifetime. He didn't need _more_ of it. So if he decided to skive off work to go and see a movie or enjoy an ice cream or whatever else he wanted to do? Well Marinette was fine with that.

No, what irritated her was the personal assistant's reaction to it all.

It made her miss Nathalie greatly, who would have taken Adrien's disappearance with great stride and calmly deal with the situation herself. Unfortunately though Nathalie was enjoying her much deserved retirement in the south of France and there was no way they could ever persuade her to come back to a life of drudgery. Meanwhile her replacements had been a long string of emotionally high-strung young people who can't cope or vain little minxes who think they can seduce Adrien into making them the second Mrs Agreste.

Neither lasted very long but they were all very annoying.

The one standing before her was from the former category and looked as if she was going to breakdown into tears any minute.

"That's fine," Marinette said calmly, "does Adrien have any important meetings this afternoon?"

" _Yes_!" the personal assistant wailed. "He had the tax review and then a meeting with the board to discuss that before finally a teleconference with a label in Milan."

Marinette swallowed a groan. All very important but incredibly boring stuff, she didn't blame Adrien at all for jumping out of the nearest window. She would too if Tiki would let her transform.

"Very well," she said, "fetch me the files that are needed and I will handle it myself."

"But…but…but…you're the _designer_!"

"Yes I am," Marinette's eye twitched at the implied insult to her abilities to anything other than drawing pictures, "but that doesn't mean I can't discuss numbers, reassure old men that their money is safe, and talk business with a potential co-worker."

"But Mr Agreste said we shouldn't disturbed you while you're designing the next line!"

 _A bit late now, isn't it?_ Marinette thought darkly but instead she voiced the thought in a much lighter, kinder, tone, and reassured the hapless personal assistant that everything was going to be all right.

She then quickly reviewed the much needed files, managed to keep awake during the meeting with the accountant, had a successful meeting with the board as she managed to charm them all into reassurance, and negotiated the best deal in their favour with Milan. It was, overall, a very good day in spite of Adrien's disappearance…

…and then she got the phone call from Emma and Hugo's school.

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Emma was impatient for school to be over and done with.

And yet, she didn't exactly want to go home either.

Dad had worked late three times this week alone and she had no doubt each time he was away, Chat Noir slipped into their house and kissed Mum. She hadn't bothered to go down and check because she really didn't want to see it, or even _think_ about it, but she knew.

And she felt helpless and trapped because there was nothing she could do about it.

Not yet, that was.

Hugo was working on something. She didn't know what because Hugo never revealed a plan until he figured it all out and had everything sorted but she knew he was up to something. He quieter and sneakier than usual and spent a lot of time in his room or hunched over paper as he scribbled something. How he kept it all hidden from Mum and Dad, she didn't know.

(Hugo was always a lot sneakier and clever than she liked to admit because he could always outwit _her_ if he wanted to.)

But until Hugo sorted everything out, there was nothing Emma could do. And so as much as she wanted this boring day of spellings and maths to be over, Emma also didn't want to go home where Mum was kissing other men in tight leather suits and Dad looked utterly miserable.

"Okay class," their teacher clapped her hands, "pencils down. No then I want you to swap with – _oh my God_!" she gasped delightedly as her eyes landed on a shadow outside of the window. "Chat Noir!"

Emma stiffened as she could see Hugo's face shut down completely from the corner of her eye. The rest of their class, however, stood up and began to babble excitedly as they pointed at the superhero. Chat Noir climbed through with a smug, sickly satisfied, smirk on his face.

"Greetings Class 2-A!" Chat Noir said cheerfully. Emma briefly wondered how he knew their class name but shoved it away as she settled to scowl at the superhero. "I was doing my daily heroic rounds making sure the city was safe and sound from monsters," his eyes flickered to Emma hopefully and Emma's scowl deepened. She could have sworn he looked hurt at that but decided she really didn't care. "When I thought to check one my favourite class of kittens to see if they've been behaving themselves."

"An honour Chat Noir!" their teacher gushed. "I knew the headmaster was planning to get someone to talk about health and safety but I didn't know you were asked or that you were doing it today."

"Erm," Chat Noir said shiftily, "ah….yeah? Yes, that's exactly why I am here," he said pompously as he puffed out his chest. "I'm here to tell you how to keep yourselves safe from daily dangers and to answer any of your questions."

This seemed to open the floodgates for Emma's classmates as they all suddenly flocked round Chat Noir. They reached out as they tried to grab him and pull at him to get his attention as their voices lapped over one another.

"How did you get your powers?"

"Are you really part cat?"

"Were you bitten by a mutated cat?"

"How do you turn things to ash?"

"Are you and Ladybug married?"

"Do you have any other clothes than that suit?"

"Do you have a normal job?"

"How do you go to the bathroom in that suit?"

"Do you get fleas like a cat?"

"How do I become a superhero like you?"

"Where did you buy your magic stick thing?"

"Do you and Ladybug know each other in real life?"

"Do you know Batman?"

"Do you have a secret hideout?"

"Why don't you and the others ever get more gadgets and powers? Other superheroes do!"

"Will you come home and check under my bed for me? I think there's a monster under there?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Chat Noir held his hands out in a silencing gesture. "One at a time, children, _one at a time_! I'm a _paw_ some hero not several. I can't answer all these questions at once."

Emma's classmates all went quiet as they gazed up at Chat Noir adoringly and expectantly with great big smiles. Chat Noir ignored them all though as his piercing green eyes met Emma's and a determined glint flickered within them.

Emma glared back.

Chat Noir, however, was not to be deterred as he swaggered over towards her. "What about you, Little Lady?" he asked. He lifted his hand up towards her as if to gallantly offer her a hand out of her chair. "Do you have a question for-?"

" **NO**!" Emma screamed furiously as she stood up and swatted Chat Noir's arm away from her. He had called her _Little Lady_. That was _Dad's_ name for her. Only Dad ever called her Little Lady just like only Mum ever called her Kitten. He had blatantly stolen her father's pet name for and used it so casually that it was insulting. She realised instantly that this was his plan. He wasn't just satisfied with stealing Mum away, he had to steal _Emma_ away too. He wanted to take Dad's whole family away from him. Well Emma wasn't having any of it. "GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BIG CREEP!"

And in one moment, Emma gathered all her strength and fury and hurt feelings and pushed it all into one, big, kick at one of Chat Noir's shins.

The strangled, cat-like, yowl that left his lips was extremely satisfying.


	6. Chapter 6

Marinette found Adrien in the park nearest to Emma and Hugo's school.

He didn't know _how_ she found him – not that it mattered, they've always been able to find one another whether or not they were intentionally searching – just that she _did_. One minute he had been brooding on a park bench while Plagg cackled in his ear and then the next Marinette stood before him. Her face is a little flushed and she was panting to catch her breath as she obviously rushed to get here. Her beautiful blue eyes shimmered with sympathy.

He didn't say a word, he didn't have to, as Marinette stepped between his legs and pulled him in for a hug. His head rest against her chest as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Oh Kitty," she murmured.

"How did you know?"

"The school phoned me," she replied. "Emma and Hugo have been sent to the Headmaster's office and the staff wanted to talk to us. I had a feeling you'd be licking your wounds somewhere."

"I was hardly _licking my wounds_ ," Adrien tried to smile but it felt too fake and painful to be real. "I might be a cat themed superhero but I'm not _actuall_ y a cat."

"I don't know, Kitty," Marinette tease as she ran her fingers through his hair again. He fought back the urge to nuzzle her and purr because as h had said…he wasn't actually a cat. "You're pretty flexible."

"Not _that_ flexible, Princess."

It was then when Adrien pulled away (albeit reluctantly, he could snuggle up to Marinette all day regardless how he felt if he could) and pulled up his trousers' leg to show the beginnings of a bruise that was forming on his shin.

" _Ooh!_ " Marinette winced.

"She definitely has your kick, My Lady."

Marinette crouched down to examine the bruise more closely. Her fingers brushed it ever so gently that Adrien almost didn't feel it. "You know if this was on anyone else I might actually be rather proud," Marinette said, "I worry that she wouldn't be able to defend herself if our enemies targeted her."

"I know," Adrien murmured, "I think it's safe to say she can."

"Definitely," Adrien stiffened and flushed in embarrassment when he suddenly felt Marinette press a feather-light kiss on the bruise. In private, or as Chat Noir, he has previously begged for get better kisses from his Lady in the past but it was different when they were both in their civilian forms in public with a couple mothers and their toddlers staring at them. "So," Marinette sighed as she staggered back onto her feet. "What now?"

"I suppose now we pick up our wayward kittens from the Headmaster's office," Adrien said as he stood up, "after that though? I don't know…"

Marinette threaded her fingers through his and squeezed his hand tightly. "Hey," she murmured softly, "it's going to be all right. We'll get through this. We always do."

He couldn't resist a smile at that. "Of course," he mumbled as he squeezed her hand back.

And with that they set off towards the school in contented silence….

"…Wait!" Adrien halted to a stop. "Did you just say _Hugo_ got sent to the Headmaster's office?!"

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They ended up being sent to the Headmaster's office.

Which wasn't really surprising when all things were considered. Almost immediately after Emma kicked Chat Noir, the wounded superhero shot both Emma and Hugo a pained, sad, look before he fled the classroom. Upset and disappointed that Char Noir left before he answered any of their questions, the class turned against Emma.

They were quick to call her names, glare at her, and one of the boys even went as far as to push her. Startled, because Emma was clearly lost in thought as she stared at the window Chat Noir jumped out, Emma had cried out as she fell back into her seat.

Their teacher stepped in quickly but not quickly enough to stop Hugo from shoving the boy back, and hard enough for the boy to fall back onto another table and hurt his side, and therefore both twins got sent to the Headmaster's office.

Hugo didn't mind though.

There was very little that actually bothered him and one of those things was someone hurting Emma. He would rather go to the Headmaster's office for defending her rather than seeing Emma get pushed again.

And he said as much to the Headmaster, much to the Headmaster's disappointment and frustration. They had to stand through a lecture of how violence was not the answer and to respect other people, especially their elders, before they were promptly sent out to wait for their parents.

That was the worst of it.

The fact that _Mum_ had been called.

They've never been in trouble with school before and Hugo was actually dreading what Mum would say when she finally got here. Because their Headmaster could look as disappointed in them as much as he wanted, he could tell them that he was disappointed with them, and he could use that grandfatherly, disappointed, soft tone, but none of it, absolutely _none of it_ , had as much affect as when Mum said she was disappointed in them.

Hugo really didn't want to hear that from Mum at all. It makes his stomach get all twisted inside and he knows Emma doesn't fare well either from hearing Mum say that.

It had been almost forty five minutes since then and Emma was beginning to fidget with impatience. Hugo was also steadily becoming more and more bored and the minutes dragged out in what felt like a never-ending silence. The hallway outside of the Headmaster's office was uncomfortably hot and Hugo felt himself drift off towards sleep more than once.

And then Emma's feet would bang against the chair leg from her constant swinging them back and forth and Hugo would jerk awake.

"How much longer?" Emma whispered loudly.

"I don't know," Hugo murmured, "as long as it takes for Mum to get here, I suppose."

Emma groaned loudly. "I'm _bored!_ " she complained.

Hugo opened his mouth. To say what, he didn't know, but to say something when there was a loud clatter and he caught sight of Mum dragging Dad down the corridor as she moved as quickly as her high heels would allow her.

"Emma!" Mum cried out. "Hugo! What ha- _eek_!" Hugo winced as Mum tripped over thin air and almost landed on her face if it hadn't been for Dad who had hold of her hand and used it to pull her back into his chest. "Thank you," Mum murmured as she patted Dad's hand. Hugo and Emma pulled a face when their parents shared particularly icky tender look but they hastily returned to solemn expressions when Mum flashed them a pointed look. "Well?" she demanded. "Are you going to explain to me what happened?"

"Yes," Emma defiantly jutted her chin up, "I kicked Chat Noir."

" _Why?_!" Mum burst out. "He's a hero of Paris. _My_ Hero." Hugo felt sick to his stomach at how Mum sent a pointed look at Dad at that. Why would she do _that?_! Did Dad know that Mum was kissing Chat Noir? Were they arguing? Was Mum deliberately trying to _hur_ t Dad? "Why would you possibly want to kick him?"

Emma looked furious but before she blurted out the truth and shatter Dad's heart completely, Hugo spoke up. "She was defending herself," he said quickly, "Stranger Danger, remember Mum?" he met Mum's eyes, daring her to contradict him. "A strange guy was coming towards her would you prefer Emma let him take her away?"

Mum looked like she wanted to argue but fortunately that was when Hugo's teacher made an appearance. "Mr and Mrs Agreste," she smiled politely, "if you would like to come with me."

"Are we not going to see the Headmaster?" Dad asked.

"No, no," Hugo's teacher shook her head, "the Headmaster is unaware of the entirety of the situation and as Emma and Hugo's teacher it was felt that I was the best to hold this discussion. If you could follow me? It shouldn't take too long."

Mum and Dad nodded and after some concerned looks thrown at Hugo and Emma's way, they moved to follow Hugo's teacher down the corridor. Hugo watched them as they walked down. They still held hands as if to keep a united front, Mum stumbled every so often in her heels (Hugo could never understand why she wears them) and Dad was walking a little funnily as well.

"Thanks."

Hugo turned to Emma. "What for?" he asked.

"For standing up for me," Emma mumbled, "to our class and to the Headmaster and to Mum. Thank you."

I'll always stand up for you," Hugo reassured her as he took his little sister's hand and squeezed it. "Even when I think you're wrong, I'll still stand up for you."

Emma squeezed his hand back and smiled. "Still," she said, "thank you."

They sat there in content silence until a thought occurred to Hugo.

"…Is it just me," Hugo frowned bewilderedly, "or was Dad _limping_?"

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Marinette's palms were disgustingly sweaty she was that nervous.

Her children had never been sent to the Headmaster's office before and she had never been called in for a special parents/teacher conference before. That wasn't to say that Emma and Hugo were little angels – far from it, they were cheeky, mischievous, and annoyingly clever little things….all Adrien's fault – but they weren't troublemakers either, and if their teacher was concerned about something then it was definitely time to worry.

So her palms were disgustingly sweaty but Adrien still held onto her hand with a vice like grip as his face was closed off from the rest of the world. No one would be able to tell what he was thinking. Apart from her. She would be able to feel the tension and sadness and self-loathing from the other side of Paris let alone right here in the room.

She brushed her thumb up and down against his knuckles in an attempt to comfort him but it was hard to focus when Hugo and Emma's teacher was holding a serious looking file and the worst was running through Marinette's head.

What if the twins were bullied? What if they had gotten in the wrong crowd? Can seven year olds fall into a drug-dealing, partying, crowd? Surely Marinette wasn't supposed to worry about this until _after_ they hit their teens?!

"Have you been informed of this afternoon's events?" the teacher asked softly. "About why Emma and Hugo were sent to the Headmaster's office."

"I know Emma kicked Chat Noir," Marinette said carefully as she squeezed Adrien's hand, "but I don't actually know why Hugo had been sent. Something about fighting?"

"Hugo defended Emma from some very…. _disappointed_ , classmates," the teacher replied just as carefully, "Chat Noir left very quickly and the children all blamed Emma." Adrien flinched at that and Marinette briefly wondered if she would ever feel her hand again as it was suddenly squeezed to death. "I was able to step in before it became a fully blown fight but a lecture from the Headmaster about violence not being the answer seemed to be in order."

"Understandable," Adrien said. He tried to use his charismatic, easy-going, yet polite voice that he used for all business matters but it came out all strained. "We have no problems with that."

"But Hugo isn't the problem," the teacher said, "he's very reserved and had been more so recently these last few days, but Emma…"

"Hugo explained that it was just a freak out!" Marinette blurted out. "Emma didn't _mean_ to kick him. It was just instinct. Stranger danger, and all that."

"Under normal circumstances I would believe you," the teacher said frankly, "but this isn't normal circumstances. Almost two weeks ago I asked you," she addressed Adrien, "if Emma was okay and told you that she wasn't herself."

"I remember," Adrien murmured softly.

"Her erratic behaviour has continued this last week and a bit," the teacher carried on, "and I think it's best if I showed you so you can understand. This," she pulled out drawing. It was a sweet little thing with what was clearly supposed to be Marinette and Adrien holding hands with Emma and Dottie beside Adrien and Hugo beside Marinette, a line of green representing grass, a line of blue representing the sky, and a big yellow sun in the background, "is the sort of the picture Emma used to draw two weeks ago."

"It's very nice," Marinette commented.

"Yes," the teacher agreed, "and _this_ ," she stressed as she pulled out a different drawing, "is what Emma's been drawing for the last week or so."

Marinette thought her eyes were going to fall out in horror when she took in the graphically violent drawing. Her first thought was to curse children's cartoons for their show of violence, and children computer games for the use of violence, and the world for being so violent, but then she felt Adrien stiffen entirely beside her and her fingers were definitely being crushed in his grip as he inhaled sharply.

A childish drawing of Chat Noir bleeding out from a lot of arrows, one of which was brutally added to his eye, was rather conclusive proof that Emma had problems beyond a simple cat-hating phase.

"Okay," Marinette swallowed as she nervously licked her lips, "we _may_ have a problem here."

And wasn't that just the understatement of the century?


	7. Chapter 7

"If you ask me," Alya said calmly in face of the meltdown that was Marinette and Adrien, "this is simply a case of _I Saw Mummy Kiss Chat Noir_."

Marinette isn't entirely sure how she and Adrien got out of that parents/teacher conference. She thinks she might have agreed to send Emma to counsellor in an attempt to get her to open up on what's really bothering her but at that point she was so busy trying to not outwardly freak out that she would have agreed to anything to get out of that room. How she managed to maintain a sense of calm as she meet up with the twins and drove them over to Alya's, she doesn't know. Because the moment the children went to play with Alya and Nino's kids and the Kwamis disappeared for their own private meetings, she immediately melted down, babbled like crazy, and was currently trying to take a deep breathes on Alya's sofa.

Adrien wasn't much better off than her but he was currently taking over the comforter role as he rubbed soothing circles on the small of her back.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Marinette snapped. "Our lives are never _that simple_."

Adrien nodded in agreement as he paused in his rubbing and pulled Marinette closer instead. She snuggled as close as she could under his arm without actually burying her face into his chest.

Alya raised an eyebrow at that. "Nino," she said loudly, "all the things Adrien and Marinette said could never be _that simple_."

"Well babe," Nino said as he held up a finger, "there's been Ladybug and Marinette can't be one person, my life is never that simple or lucky."

"And I've always had Chat Noir and Adrien can't be one person," Alya said mockingly," my life is never that simple."

"I can't just ask Marinette to be my girlfriend," Nino added, "it's never that simple."

"Hey!" Adrien protested. "You said something like that yourself too!"

"I can't just talk to Adrien about sex," Alya carried on as if Adrien had never spoken. Marinette squeaked in embarrassment as she remembered that excruciating time in her life when she wanted to go further in their relationship but couldn't find the right way to have that discussion. Her cheeks heat up in humiliation just thinking of the conversations she had with Alya let alone her fumbling, extremely awkward, conversation that she finally had with Adrien. "It's never that simple."

"I can't just ask Marinette to marry me," Nino rolled his eyes, "it's not that simple."

"I can't just tell Adrien I'm pregnant," Alya also rolled her eyes at this, "it's not that simple."

"I can't just go-"

"All right, all right!" Marinette snapped before this list became endless and both she and Adrien died of embarrassment on Alya's sofa leaving the twins and Dottie orphans with only her parents, Alya and Nino, and Chloe to take care of them (while she knows her parents and Alya and Nino would do a good job, she's rather worried Chloe would take the kids to a bar or something and then forget they were there). "We get the picture. Sometimes it really is that simple," she conceded, "but I hardly think in this case it is _that simple_."

"Oh yeah," Alya snorted, "because what's really going on is obviously the children resent and hate Adrien for never being home, which is utter bullshit by the way," she added with a pointed look at Adrien but Adrien gazed back with a stare that suggested he still didn't agree with that sentiment. "And is taking it out on Chat Noir, or," Alya's gaze turned sceptical as she raised her eyebrow even higher at Marinette, "that an unknown, great, evil is currently possessing Emma."

Well when it was worded like that, of course it sounded _stupid_!

But when you're one of Paris' superheroes and have dealt with a corrupt Miraculous user, several other corrupt magic users, and _freaking demons_ , the possibility of your child being possessed is a terrifyingly real one. Since Marinette had first found out she was pregnant she had been petrified at the idea that her children would be used against Ladybug, and now, with her daughter's odd behaviour and sudden disdain for Chat Noir, Marinette couldn't help feel her fears were being realised.

Hence the near meltdown on Alya's sofa.

"It's not a silly idea," Marinette scowled defensively, "considering virtually everyone in this room has been possessed at least once."

"And we ran round in the most garish, camp, costumes ever or were blatantly brain-dead at the time." Alya counteracted with another eye roll. "Your child is just being a kid, they're rather violent and cruel sometimes do you remember going to school?" Alya stressed and Marinette knew what she really meant was _do you remember what Chloe used to be like_?! "I can assure you that's she not being possessed by the devil or something."

Nino laughed at that. "Someone has totally been watching too many horror films recently," he grinned at Marinette.

"It's a logical conclusion!" Marinette flushed.

(Because she had been watching a lot of horror films recently. They've been great excuses for snuggling….not that she and Adrien needed much excuse to snuggle in the first place.)

"It's a _melodramatic_ conclusion," Alya corrected, "brought forth by you panicking and not actually _thinking_. Like many of your other melodramatic conclusions."

"I do not-"

"Nino," Alya interrupted Marinette, "list all the times that Marinette and Adrien were melodramatic."

Both Adrien and Marinette spluttered indignantly at that.

 _They were not melodramatic!_

"Marinette keeps acting all weird and stutter around me," Nino recited mockingly, "She obviously still hates me for the chewing gum incident."

Marinette felt Adrien stiffen at that and pulled the hand resting on her shoulder closer so she could press a reassuring kiss on his knuckle. She could never hate him. Even when she thought he had putting chewing gum on her chair she hadn't hated him, she was just cross.

"Oh gee, Alya," Alya said in a breathless voice, "I can't just tell Adrien how I feel about him because he would reject me and then be so disgusted he'll get a restraining order on me, and I will never be able to live my life because I will hold the label of a sex offender, and I will end up dying alone in my room with a hundred cats."

Marinette sunk as low on the sofa she could as she felt her cheeks heat up again. Okay, maybe, just _maybe_ , occasionally, she was _a little_ melodramatic. "That was one time-"

"I'm never going to get Marinette to like me," Nino interrupted enthusiastically. He and Alya were apparently now on a roll…oh _joy_! "I obviously scare her."

"Alya, I can't just tell Chat Noir who I am," Alya carried on in her annoyingly breathless voice which was apparently supposed to be Marinette. "He's going to be so disappointed in how plain and clumsy and ordinary I am and want another partner."

"Marinette is never going to return my feelings," Nino said with mock-sorrowfulness. "I think I'm going to die of heartbreak, Nino."

"Oh my God! Oh my God! _Oh my God_!" Alya cried out dramatically. "I'm going to mess up this date and Adrien is going to realise he made a mistake and never want to see me again. He'll give up his Miraculous, change schools, and probably leave the country in order to avoid being seen with me again."

Adrien looked down at Marinette at this with a raised eyebrow that virtually screamed ' _really Princess_?' and Marinette blushed so deeply that she was pretty sure she now matched her Ladybug suit as she looked at anywhere but her husband.

"Marinette is going to say no and I will never be able to eat again."

"I think Adrien is going to break up with me," Adrien's ' _really Princess_?' gaze turned extra snarky and Marinette glowered back at him. "He keeps acting shiftily and looks like he wants to say something and then he looks so disappointed and upset when he doesn't say it."

"Marinette is going to leave me at the altar!" Nino declared passionately and now it was Marinette's turn to raise an eyebrow at an abashed Adrien. "She's going to realise what a mess I am and want nothing to do with it and run out like Runaway Bride while I'll be standing there clutching her abandoned shoe."

Marinette bit back a groan. Two clichés in one sentence? Only her adorable dork of a husband could accomplish that.

"Adrien is going to leave me at the altar!" Alya burst out. "He'll get cold feet when he realises what a mess I am and climb out of the bathroom window with Nino's help."

Adrien smirked at that and Marinette refused to admit (out loud in her smug husband's hearing) that she thought in clichés as well.

"Marinette is five minutes late, do you think she climbed out of the window?"

"Oh my God Alya, I can't be pregnant, I just _can't be_ ," Alya mimicked the panic Marinette had felt eight years ago perfectly. "I'll be a terrible mother, I will accidentally drop the baby on its head, I will trip over and accidentally throw the baby out of the window, and _oh my God I'm going to accidentally kill my baby_!"

If Adrien's ' _really Princess_?' look got any deeper she may just smack him, injured leg or no injured leg. It was a legitimate worry and he was really in place to judge as he panicked just as much when he found out she was pregnant.

And look at them now they had blatantly done something wrong for this crisis to happen. They were both right and she was really not appreciating Nino and Alya's teasing whatsoever.

"Nino, Marinette's been really sick in the mornings and she hasn't been herself recently," Nino recited, " _I think she's dying_ ," he added in a dramatic whisper.

This time Marinette turned round with her own ' _really Kitty_?' look which made Adrien flush and look away. "It was a logical conclusion," he mumbled.

"Seriously guys," Nino grinned, "we could do this all day."

"Master Fu was right," Alya said as she pushed her glasses up her nose, "you two are made for each other. You're both great big _Drama Queens_."

Whatever lovely, sweet, sentiment Adrien and Marinette felt at being told they were made for each other (which was always nice to hear and induced the warmest, fuzziest, feelings inside of Marinette) fell flat at the proclamation that they were both Drama Queens, and their smiles faded.

Adrien leaned in to whisper loudly into Marinette's ear. "Why are we friends with these people?" he murmured, and Marinette had to try not let the feel of his warm breath against her earlobe affect her.

"Funny," Nino muttered loudly to Alya, "shouldn't _we_ be asking that?"

Marinette wished Chloe was here. Chloe would totally take Adrien and Marinette's side in this and would take their problem seriously and actually offer some helpful ad-

Oh, _who the hell was she kidding_?

Chloe would be sitting in a corner laughing her arse off while she tried to find a video of Emma kicking Chat Noir on YouTube.

And that was Chloe on her best behaviour.

(Seriously, _why was Marinette friends with these people?!)_

"The point is the pair of you are over-reacting," Alya said loudly steering the conversation back to the topic at hand. "You're jumping to the silliest conclusions without doing one, simple but crucial, thing."

"Oh," Adrien blinked, "What's that?"

" _Talk to your children_!"

"We've already tried!" Adrien protested. "I've tried, Marinette tried, and Emma's not opening up to us. She runs out of the room, she turns away, and she says she can't talk about it"

Alya rolled her eyes. "Try _again_ ," she said sternly, "because I bet you anything this is just a case of _I Saw Mummy Kiss Chat Noir_."

"Really," Marinette said dryly, "What makes you so sure?"

"Because you and Adrien can't keep your hands off of one another mask or no mask," Nino spoke up in disgust, "I mean just look at you two, you're snuggling on my sofa, and it's revolting. Quit it."

" _Never_!" Marinette declared. She then snuggled deeper into Adrien's arms and grinned as she felt his arms tighten around her. She could also feel Adrien smile against her hair which made her smile all the more. Nino made gagging noises that could rival Plagg's and Alya just looked on disapprovingly. "Besides," Marinette carried on, "the children are in bed and fast asleep whenever one of us come back from Night Patrol. They can't have seen us."

" _Pfft!_ " Alya snorted. "Yeah because children are _so good_ and stay in bed all through the night because that's what they're told to do."

"Okay, you made a good point there," Marinette conceded, "but….but…we can't…."

"Can't _what_?" Alya asked. "Tell them that Mummy and Daddy are two of Paris' finest heroes? Why not?"

"Why not? _Why not_?!" Marinette cried out. "Alya, have you told your children that you're a superhero."

"Well no," Alya admitted, "but they're both under five. They won't know how to keep a secret yet."

"Oh and you think _seven_ is any better at keeping secrets?"

"Probably not," Alya said tartly, "but I'm also not stupid enough to come home as Volpina and lip-lock with my husband."

Nino nodded sagely in agreement. Marinette would have pointed out that Alya and Nino still lived in a two bedroom flat with nosey neighbours and it would look odd if Volpina was hovering round the balcony or Alya went out but never came back in. It wasn't stupid taking advantage of the privacy that the Agreste estate offered and transform at home. But before Marinette could even open her mouth to say all of this Nino spoke up;

"Though I would be totally cool with that babe if you ever change your mind."

Alya smirked and shot Nino a particularly flirty look. "I'll keep that in mind," she drawled out.

And now it was Alya and Nino that were being revolting, the _hypocrites_.

"It can't be that!" Marinette burst out.

"I bet you one box of your homemade macarons that it is."

"Fine because it's isn't _that_ ," Marinette said confidently. "If that was the case then wouldn't they have said something to me about being a slut by now?"

"Marinette you're their _sainted mother_ " Alya said exasperated. "They're not going to blame you they're going to blame the sleazy flirt in the leather suit."

"Cheers," Adrien said dryly.

"You're welcome," Alya replied cheerfully. "Now seriously though….. _talk to your children_!"

" _Fine_!" Marinette caved irritably. "We'll talk to the children."

"Tonight," Alya stipulated.

"Not tonight," Marinette shook her head. "We're having dinner with my parents and by the time we get home it'll be their bedtime." Alya shot Marinette a look that told her there was no way she and Adrien were getting away with not talking to the twins. "We'll talk to them tomorrow or Sunday," Marinette promised.

"All right," Alya relented, "but I expect my box of macarons on Monday morning."

Marinette spluttered. "You know you're not _always_ right," she choked out.

"Oh please," Alya drawled. "My list of how often I've been right rivals my list of your melodrama. For starters, remember when I said Adrien was-"

Sensing that Alya's list would just be a ridiculously long and embarrassing as her previous two lists, Marinette jumped up immediately. "Would you look at the time?" she said loudly as she made a show of checking her watch. "We should go before my parents think something terrible happened."

"All right," Alya's eyes glimmered with amusement. "I'll just write it out for the next time you come over."

Marinette groaned.

They dithered about a bit. It always takes a while to get the twins ready to leave especially when there's toys and games involved but a brief mention of dinner at their grandparents got them moving quickly. Anything for cake. As Adrien said goodbye to Nino and made sure that Hugo's coat was zipped up properly, Alya pulled Marinette in for a hug.

"Speaking of you _talking_ ," she murmured in Marinette's ear, "when are you going to tell Adrien?"

Marinette bit back another groan. Alya had been on her case the last couple weeks now for the baby. She thought Marinette's superstition to wait three months was ridiculous seeing as she knew (despite the fact that Alya only knew because she witnessed Marinette puke her guys up and forced her to take a test) and made sure Marinette knew it.

"Not now," Marinette muttered.

" _Marinette_!" Alya hissed thoroughly exasperated now. "It's been three months!"

"And you really think _now_ is the right time to tell him?" Marinette whispered back. "He thinks the children _hate him_. How is he going to feel when he finds out there's _another one_ on the way?"

"God, you two" Alya shook her head, " _Drama Queens_ ," she stressed, "now go and enjoy your evening, talk to your husband, and then talk to your children."

"Goodbye Alya."

Marinette pulled away and turned to find Emma pressed against the wall as she watched her with big, wide, eyes. For a wild moment, Marinette thought everyone had heard her exchange with Alya but Hugo and Adrien were oblivious as they were waiting by the front door, and Emma didn't say a word as she quickly ducked her head to avoid Marinette's worried gaze.

"Kit – sweetie?" Marinette hastily corrected herself. "Is everything all right."

"Fine," Emma said shortly.

Marinette wanted to press, she really did, but now was certainly not the time. Her parents really were waiting for them and they really did need to get Dottie back. So instead she held her hand out and when Emma, almost reluctantly, accepted it, she pulled her baby close and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

She will talk to the twins tomorrow.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Emma stared blankly at the car window as she watched the lights of Paris fly past her. It had been a long and exhausting day with Chat Noir visiting the school, being in trouble, and then trying to keep up with the Lahiffe-Cesaire children.

And then she heard Mum and Aunt Alya.

" _When are you going to tell Adrien?"_

" _Not now."_

" _ **Marinette!**_ _It's been three months!"_

Three months.

Mum had been kissing Chat Noir for _three months_ and Aunt Alya knew. That was horrible enough but then there was the fact that Aunt Alya knew and she hadn't _stopped it_. She weakly tried to get Mum to tell Dad but she didn't press or push, she let the subject dropped. She was Mum's best friend first. There was a lot of whispering afterwards but Emma couldn't hear what was being said, maybe Aunt Alya did push the subject, but it was obvious that Mum won the argument in the end.

Aunt Alya definitely wasn't going to say anything.

She definitely wasn't going to stop Mum either.

As if he sensed her distress, Hugo slid his hand into hers and squeezed it tightly.

She squeezed it back just as hard.

She had said they were on their own before but now…now she really knew it.


	8. Chapter 8

They didn't talk to their children the next day.

In their defence, it had been because they were called into work. The consequences of Adrien's little jaunt to the Twins' school reared its ugly head when it became apparent that the new line had not been submitted, meetings were needed, the designs had to be finalised, and the entirety of their staff appeared to be on a verge of a meltdown.

So Adrien and Marinette had to rush in and soothe, comfort, and reassure everyone before getting started on their impossibly high workload.

And then they got attacked.

When they had finally defeated Hawk Moth they had all be surprised to find out that it was not the end of their superhero duties ("What?" Plagg snorted. "Did you think we were created to keep _each other_ in check?"). Since then there had been deranged warlocks and sorcerers and necromancers that have all decided Paris was their target for world domination, or were specifically targeting the Miraculous Wielders for their stones. Only just a couple months ago they had been stopped one lunatic from successfully opening the gates to a hell dimension.

Unfortunately the fact that Queen Bee had kicked the bad guy into the hell dimension and together all four of them sealed the rift back up didn't necessarily mean that all the demons were gone.

Several had managed to slip into hiding and reappeared at the worst possible moment….like today when one attacked the office building.

Adrien sat up when he heard the screams and on instinct he immediately transformed and dashed out of his office.

He barely reached the main hallway when he stumbled upon a dozens of people running towards the exit as they screamed hysterically. There was no sign of what was causing the disturbance so he smoothly stepped out into the crowd and caught a passing intern by the waist.

The woman blinked up at him and immediately slumped in relief. "Oh thank God!" she cried out. " _Chat Noir_!"

"Your local pawsome superhero is here," Chat Noir said grandly, "What happened, Ma'am?" he asked worriedly.

"A _monster_!" the woman said hysterically. "A monster has broken in and he's heading straight to the design studios!"

Chat Noir stiffened as it suddenly felt like ice was running through his veins instead of blood. There was only one reason why a supernatural creature would go directly to the design studios and that was for the power of creation and good luck which of course currently belong to…

"… _Marinette,_ " Chat Noir whispered, horrified.

And Marinette couldn't transform currently.

Without a second thought Chat Noir rushed towards the design studios as quickly as he could. His heart was hammering in his ears and his stomach swooped down as if he was on a rollercoaster as nothing but the worst crossed his mind.

And, of course, nothing but the worst was what he was greeted with.

Marinette was pinned down on the floor by some hideous, gnarled, creature as her hand desperately grabbed above her head for something as she squirmed away. The creature lifted up a clawed hand was just about to swoop down with an attack when Marinette's fingers got hold of a pair of sewing scissors. Marinette snatched them up immediately and plunged the sharp blades into the creature's shoulder.

It let out an inhumane howl and Chat shook out of his shocked daze in time to make his own move. " _ **CATACLYSM**_!" he bellowed as he struck the creature at the dead centre of its back.

There was another horrific scream and the creature fell apart beneath Chat's hand into dust leaving a pale Marinette panting on the floor. Chat suddenly felt his lungs kick in as it was suddenly easy to breathe again and without a second thought he grabbed Marinette's arms and hauled her up onto her feet before he dragged her into a bone-breaking hug. Marinette returned the embrace as she let out a strangled sob against his shoulder and he buried is face into her soft, silky, hair and breathed in the flowery scent of her shampoo.

"Thank God," he murmured, "Oh thank God, you're all right."

"Because of _you,"_ she replied almost breathlessly as she clung to him tightly, "you _saved_ me," she said more firmly, "you got here in time," she added reassuringly as her hands had moved to rub soothingly circles on his back. "I'm okay, Chat. Promise."

She knew him all too well and knew what he needed most which was the reassurance that she was alive and well and here.

They stood there for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds before a crowd of trapped designers peered round the door anxiously. Chat was hastily reminded by their wide-eyed stares that he was still currently Chat Noir and not Marinette Agreste's husband and pulled away quickly.

He coughed to clear his throat and composed himself as pompously as he could. "Good people of Paris," he said loudly, "the monster is now gone and you are now all safe." He scooped Marinette up into a bridal hold. "Now excuse me but I must return Madame Agreste to her husband."

And with that he opened up the window, extended his baton, and leapt out into the streets of Paris.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Chat Noir said nothing as he carried Marinette back to the safety of their home. He merely held her tight against him with one arm as his other one used his baton to send them flying across Paris. Marinette held on just as tightly as she buried her face in the hollow where his neck met his shoulder, and breathed in the delicious yet comforting scent of her husband.

There was nowhere else in the world where she felt safer than she did when she was in his arms.

Finally, Chat halted to a stop, and Marinette could hear the little clicks of his baton being returned to its original size and being placed back into his belt. Chat Noir's newly freed arm then wrapped itself round Marinette's shoulders as his hand got tangled into her hair. He squeezed her close and let out a shaky breath of relief before he inhaled her scent sharply.

They remained like this for such a long time that Marinette's sense of relief and safety ebbed away as she realised that her husband still hadn't said a single word to her in rebuke about her not transforming.

And he was so deadly quiet.

Adrien wasn't the type to lose his temper. Not like Marinette, who would explode and speak without thinking, but when he was angry….he was _angry_. And so very silent about it. He was stiff and tense beneath her fingers as she felt his shoulders straightening up in that perfect posture his father instilled in him.

She pulled away to look up at him and felt her heart clenched as his face became completely closed off. Another lesson from Gabriel Agreste.

"You're cross," she observed.

Adrien's face softened a little at that as some warmth seeped into his eyes and he met her eyes adoringly. "Not at you," he reassured her, "I'm cross with myself."

"Whatever for?"

"I let my guard down and you were attacked," Adrien said tightly as his eyes blazed furiously with self-loathing, "I was so caught up with my moping that I didn't patrol last night and Alya didn't either because I told her to take a break, and therefore no one saw that _thing_ come to the surface. No one was there to stop it before it was almost too late. And I almost lost _you_ ," he squeezed her tight to him once again and returned the embrace just as hard, "I almost lost _our baby_."

Marinette's eyes widened at that. "….how did you know?" she managed to choke out.

Amusement actually danced in his eyes as he pulled back to meet her eyes again. "We have been together for _sixteen years_ , Princess," he informed her, "I know your body better than my own. I know when you are more tired than usual, I know when you're sick, I know when you're not eating normally, and I certainly notice when your breasts get bigger and your nipples darken."

Marinette squeaked as she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. There was very little these days that made her feel like that fourteen year old school girl again but Adrien discussing her breasts so candidly was definitely one of them.

Chat Noir had the nerve to actually chuckle at that.

 _The arrogant shit!_

But there was more pressing matters at hand than knocking her kitty a peg or two. "Are you all right with it?" she asked anxiously. "Having another child?"

"Why wouldn't I be, Princess?" he replied. "It's _our_ child, another little bit of proof of our love, a whole new life made by _us_."

She melted a little at that. "But the twins…." She said helplessly.

"Alya is right," Chat said solemnly, "we need to talk to them before we panic. And we've faced worse monsters and obstacles in the past, I have to have faith that we can get through this as well."

"Oh Kitty," she murmured softly.

"Bugaboo," Chat's soft, sad, smile blossomed before her eyes into one of his fantastic, Cheshire Cat, grins. "We're going to be parents," he said ecstatically, " _again_!"

" _I know_!" Marinette beamed.

The thought of another baby with Adrien made her heart flutter and her stomach somersault. She was dying of curiosity, would they have his blonde hair or her dark hair? Green or blue or that same strange mix that Dottie had? Would they be sweet and quiet like Hugh or outgoing and loud like Emma? Would it be another girl or another boy to even out the numbers?

"And you know what this means," Chat's eyes tinkled mischievously, "we're half way there to forming a Qudditch team made entirely of our children."

"I have told you before and I will tell you again," Marinette said curtly, "if you want seven children, you can give birth to some of them yourself."

"But _Princess_!" Chat whined.

"Nope," Marinette said firmly, "this is it. This is our last one. As soon as this pregnancy is over I'm taking you to the vets."

"So _cruel_!" Chat cried out melodramatically. She tried to not laugh as she felt him shift to cross his legs protectively. He might be a superhero, he might be perfectly wonderful in every way, even with every little annoyance, but at the end of the day he was like any other guy when it came to that. "You don't want poor little Bugsy to be the baby of the family."

" _Bugsy_?!" Marinette spluttered.

"If it's a boy," Chat said quickly, "Kitty, short for Katherine, if it's a girl."

"Adrien, _no_!" Marinette said horrified. "Just _no_! I am forbidding you from naming any of our children from this point onwards."

"You name the twins," Chat said stubbornly, "it's still my turn. If you want," he added with a sly smile, "we can have a couple more you could name those."

Marinette scowled at that. "I am not falling for that one, Kitty," she said frostily, "you are not naming this child. Not after what you did to poor Dottie."

"There is nothing wrong with-"

" _Dorothea_ is a horrible name," Marinette interrupted curtly, "and you named her that on _purpose_ , while I was completely out of it on drugs I might add, so I would have no choice but to shorten it to Dot as in your _Ladybug Dot_." She shot him an accusatory glare.

Chat Noir smiled sheepishly at that. "You managed to avoid it perfectly well with Dottie," Chat pointed out, "besides I wanted to honour _you._ "

Marinette flushed at that. "My name is her middle name, that's honour enough," she mumbled,

"There's nothing that is honour enough," Chat murmured lovingly, "which is why I would want to call our son, if this one is a boy, Bugsy."

"Over my rotting corpse and even then I would come back haunt you for all of eternity."

"You _purr_ -mise to haunt me?" Marinette raised an unimpressed eyebrow but Char Noir was still refusing to give up on the Bugsy idea as he opened his mouth to please his case. "Princess-"

"No son of mine is ever going to be called Bugsy!" Marinette interrupted sternly. "It's Louis or _nothing_."

"But Louis is such a _common_ name, half of the little boys in France are called Louis," Chat complained. "This is _our child_. That makes them special already. Don't you want-"

"We. Are. **Not**." Marinette hissed between gritted teeth. "Calling. Him. Bugsy."

Chat Noir's Miraculous beeped warningly. "We'll discuss it later," Chat said cheerfully, "but first….My Lady," Marinette's heart fluttered at the sweet gaze he shot her. "We're going to be parents!" Chat Noir repeated ecstatically. " _Again_!"

"I know!"

"God," Chat murmured, "I love you."

"I love you too," Marinette replied softly.

And with that they met in a long, hot, messy, kiss as they shared their happiness and love and devotion to one another. Marinette was pretty sure that was nothing but a puddle of goo and love for Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir as he held her close and her fingers found themselves entwined in his soft, silky, hair.

Marinette moaned in delight as she felt her toes curl in her ridiculous high heeled shoes.

They kissed, and kissed, and kissed until his transformation wore off and Plagg flew away complaining, and then they kissed again.

It definitely made an entry in their top ten kisses ever.

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Emma and Hugo had been playing with Dottie in her bedroom when they saw Chat Noir land in their back garden. They froze completely when they saw that he had Mum in his arms. He was no longer just coming over for kisses, he was taking her _away_ for kisses.

He had literally just _**stolen**_ her from underneath's Dad's nose.

How long will it be until he did it _permanently_?

As soon as Mum and Chat Noir met in what had to be one of the most romantic and disgusting kisses Emma had seen (he was carrying Mum in his arms like she was a princess he had just rescued from the dragon. It was as if they stepped out of a fairy tale ending and were re-enacting the last scene) both she and Hugo whipped round to look at Dottie's bedroom walls. Neither of them could stomach the sight of it anymore.

"This has gone on for too long," Emma complained, "he's taking her from work now for secret kisses."

"I know."

"He's going to take Mum away _from home_ soon for secret kisses."

"I know."

"And then, one day, he's going to take her away and _never give her back_!"

"I know."

" _What do we do_?!" Emma shrieked. "What do we do to stop that big, nasty, love rat from stealing Mummy away forever?!"

"We make a trap," Hugo said calmly. His eyes blazed with a scary determination and fury that Emma rarely saw. They were no longer simply blue but rather a burning blue like the blue fire from the stove. "We'll make a trap worthy of Scooby Doo and then we're going to give Chat Noir the biggest telling off ever ourselves and then we'll make sure he _never_ comes back here ever again."

"A trap?" Emma repeated. "How are we going to make a _trap_?"

"I've been thinking about it," Hugo explained, "and I think I have several ideas worked out and how to make them too."

That didn't surprise Emma. Hugo loved building things and he was clever too. He liked all the science and mathematics, which boggled Emma to no end, behind things and wanted to someday become an inventor or something. He already spent hours on end with Dad making airplane models.

And Emma wouldn't put it past her twin already having a secret trap door made that led to an even more secret dungeon.

"All right then," Emma agreed. "Let's make a rat trap."

Dottie tilted her head curiously. "Trap?" she repeated.

"Yes," Emma said, "we're going to make a trap for a rat."

Dottie scrunched her nose up at that. "Trap for Daddy?" she asked.

"No," Emma scowled, "not for Daddy, for a rat."

"Daddy's a rat."

"Daddy is _not_ a rat!" Emma burst out furiously. " _Chat Noir_ is a rat. We're making a trap for Chat Noir."

Dottie stared up at Emma in confusion and then, with the air of an exasperated adult, she padded away from Emma towards her toys and played with them instead. Emma spluttered indignantly but Hugo pulled her away before she ended up in an argument with a two year old (which sadly, Emma was ashamed to admit, would not be the first time) and the two of them settled in Hugo's room where he showed her a series of a crayoned drawings of different plans he had made.

"This one seems to be the best," Emma said as she pointed to a drawing, "its outside, so we're less likely to be in trouble if we make a mess."

Hugo rolled his eyes at that and Emma smiled innocently in reply.

 _Someone_ had to think about avoiding getting punished.

"We need to think about when we're doing this."

"That's easy," Emma shrugged, "Dad is working late tonight. He said so this morning. So we'll do it now."

"What about Mum?"

"We wait until after we're supposed to be in bed," Emma said thoughtfully, "Mum designs when we're in bed and when Mum designs she puts her headphones in."

"All right," Hugo nodded, "tonight it is."

And with that the two of them began to plan out what they were going to do in detail. They were so absorbed in their planning that it never occurred to them that it was rather odd that both Dad and Mum came home at the same time.

Or that Dad came back unusually quickly for someone that wasn't in the garden with Mum.


	9. Chapter 9

Chat Noir had a long, horrible, day what with Marinette being attacked at work, then the twins barely looking at him at lunch, before he had to go back to work an endure a day of horrible paperwork and then a long, tedious, patrol in the cold night.

All he wanted to do was go home, crawl into bed, and hopefully have a long, dreamless, sleep.

But of course his bad day couldn't simply just end on the dull, anticlimactic, note. Oh no it _had_ to get worse because his luck was just horrendous.

Chat Noir barely landed in the garden when the sprinklers went off.

" _What the hell_?!" he spluttered as he staged back to avoid the water. It sprayed in his face and he grimaced as eh covered it. "Blergh!" his cat instincts were desperate to avoid it.

He then had the bad luck to accidentally stand on a random rake that was, for reasons unknown, left abandoned in the garden when the wooden handle smacked him right in the face. He let out a yelp of pain as he then staggered back into one of the trees when suddenly a net full of leaves suddenly fell over his head.

Blindly, Chat swatted at the leaves and net as he staggered through the garden towards the back door. He had just managed to get the net off of him when suddenly he was flung off of his feet and shot up in the air.

Chat Noir swayed and spun madly in mid-air as he found himself suspended upside-down by his ankle.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he yelled as he just to claw at the roped tied round his ankle. He missed and swung back and forth in front of the back door and he struggled for freedom. "HELP!" he shouted. " _ **MARINETTE**_! HELP!"

"Chat are you _trying_ to wake up the child- _oh my God_!" Marinette's irritation gave way instantly for horror as she took in the sight of her husband swinging round the back door upside-down. "Stay _still_!" she ordered as she grabbed hold onto his sides to steady him. "Let me see if I can untie you. Kitty, what happened?"

" _I don't know_!" Chat whined. "I came home like normal and then suddenly the sprinklers went off and there was a rake and leaves and now I'm hanging _upside down_!"

"A _rake?_!"

"The gardener must have let it out," Chat mumbled, "it stepped on the bottom bit and the handle smacked me in the face."

"Oh Kitty," Marinette murmured softly, "here," she pressed a light kiss on his nose, "better now?"

Chat nodded and was on the verge of speaking again – in hopes of wheedling a couple more kisses he was a little less distressed now Marinette was here to his rescue – when the kitchen lights suddenly switched on.

" _AHA_!" Emma bellowed furiously. "CAUGHT IN THE ACT!"

Emma stood there with her arms crossed defiantly as her green eyes blazed furiously and a scowl marred her face. Hugo stood a couple inches behind her with a disapproving expression on his face that gave Chat a couple flashbacks to his father.

" _Emma Sabine Agreste_!" Marinette hissed furiously. " _Hugo Thomas Agreste_! What is the _meaning_ of this?!"

"Shouldn't we be asking _you_ that?" Hugo said coldly. "What are _you_ doing?!"

"Don't take that tone with me, young man," Marinette replied sternly, "I'm helping Chat Noir down. You want to explain _why_ he's hanging upside-down/"

"Want to explain why you've been _kissing_ him?!" Emma shot back. "You're married. To _Daddy_ , remember?"

Marinette froze as her eyes widened in realisation. For a brief moment her beautiful, startled, blue eyes met his and then she slumped in defeat. " _Goddamnit_!" she cursed. "Now I owe Alya a box of macarons!"

Whatever response the twins had been expecting – whether it outright denial or pleading to not tell…well him – this was obviously not it, and they looked horrified at that. "Don't you care?" Emma whispered and it pained Chat to see tears well up in her big, green, eyes. "Don't you care _at all_ about Dad?"

Marinette looked as if she had just been stabbed in the heart. "Oh Ki – sweetie," she corrected herself. "Of course I care about Dad. Dad is the love of my life."

"Then _why_?!" Hugo burst out. "Why are you kissing _Chat Noir_?!"

Marinette held her arms out to the children. They stood firmly with stubborn looks on their faces as they refused to move an inch but Marinette managed to sneak in and coax either twin under her arm. Her hands were pressed against the children's foreheads as she held them close and she glanced questioningly at him.

He nodded.

"What are you-?"

"Watch," Marinette murmured soothingly, "just watch Chat Noir."

And with that, Chat Noir dropped his transformation.

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There was a bright green flash that almost blinded them and suddenly Chat Noir was replaced….

….with Dad.

" **DADDY?**!" Emma and Hugo shouted in unison. "You're _Chat Noir_?!" Emma added unnecessarily as her jaw dropped open.

Hugo didn't blame her for the shock. He was surprised too but then when he thought about it Char Noir was very fond of calling Mum 'Princess' and that was a favourite for Dad too. And whenever Dad was out working late, Chat Noir showed up, and Dad tended to turn up a little too quickly for him _not_ to have seen Mum and Chat Noir together. And when Hugo really thought about it, Dad had been limping after Emma had kicked Chat Noir…. _oh dear God they were idiots!_

"I don't believe it!" Emma wailed. "I kicked _Dad_!"

"Forget that!" Hugo cried out. "We've just _strung_ Dad up in front of the back door!"

"Yes," Dad agreed as he swayed from side to side, "about that… erm, I don't suppose you'll get me down now?" he asked hesitatingly.

Hugo and Emma glanced at each other worryingly. It never occurred them about how to get Chat Noir down. They had decided they were going to trap him no matter what. They never really thought about what to do when they had him.

Mum sighed heavily before she let go of the twins and strolled towards the kitchen counter. She picked up a big, shiny, knife that made Hugo, Emma, and Dad all gulp in unison before she slashed the rope in half and Dad landed on the floor with a thump.

"Better Kitty?" she asked sweetly.

"The view," Dad said in a strange voice that always proceeded something disgustingly romantic, "has improved vastly from where I'm sitting."

Mum flushed bright pink at that as she shoved her hand in Dad's face. Dad smirked in reply as he accepted it and Mum hauled him back onto his feet.

Emma frowned at Hugo questioningly and Hugo shrugged in reply. He didn't get it either.

Grown-ups are weird.

"But…but…but…" Emma stammered. "When you came into the house as Chat Noir you said _when the husband's away, the cat comes out to play_!" Emma mimicked Chat Noir's arrogant flirty tone so perfectly that Dad instantly flushed bright red in embarrassment. Mum didn't look much better either. "Why would you say that if _you're the husband_?!"

Mum suddenly choked while Dad shifted sheepishly. "Ah…erm…you see…" Dad said slowly as he scratched the back of his head. "When you're a lot older-"

"-A _great deal older_ ," Mum added hastily.

"Like thirty-"

"- or _forty!_ "

"Forty would be better," Dad agreed cheerfully. "You'll…well…you'll find out adults like to play pretend too."

Emma and Hugo exchanged bewildered stares and then shrugged in unison. Grown-ups were really weird.

Like really, _really_ , weird.

"All right then," Emma said, thankfully deciding to drop the whole play pretend thing because Hugo really didn't want to know, as she turned her piercing gaze onto Mum. "Then what is that you're keeping secret for the last three months?!" she demanded to know. "I heard you talk to Aunt Alya and she said you got to tell Dad!"

Mum spluttered indignantly at that. " _Emma Sabine Agreste what have I told you about eavesdropping_?!" she cried out.

"..To do so?" Emma suggested with such fake innocence that it was nothing but sheer cheek. Mum raised an unimpressed eyebrow as she crossed her arms nonsensically and Emma deflated immediately. "I'm sorry Mummy," Emma mumbled, "but I thought you were having an _affair_!"

Mum pinched the bridge of her nose as if she was fighting back an oncoming headache. "I'll let it go," she sighed. "…this time," she tacked on when Emma suddenly brightened up. "All right we were going to tell you this soon anyway but since we're here now and you're worried about it, we might as well tell you now."

Mum turned to look up adoringly at Dad who returned her faze with something equally mushy and gushy as he reached out and slid his hand into hers.

"We're having another baby!" Dad beamed.

Emma's eyes lit up at that. "A brother or a sister?" she asked.

"We don't know yet," Mum replied.

Hugo personally hoped it was a brother. He had plenty of his sisters as it was but instead of voicing this or asking more questions (perhaps this time he and Emma can get a real answer on the whole baby-making thing because Mum and Dad were never really clear about that and Hugo was sceptical that involved just kissing like Emma seemed to believe) about it, Hugo's eyes caught had sight of something really weird earlier which he ignored in favour of answers but now it was beginning to bother him.

"Can I ask something?" he said politely.

"Of course sweetie," Mum smiled, "what is it?"

"Why is there a flying black cat eating cheese in our kitchen?"

Mum blinked, Dad rolled his eyes, and Emma whirled round to look at the small, flying, black cat that was lazily hovering mid-air with a huge wheel of camembert (at least now Hugo knew why that particular cheese was off limits….and why Dad smells like cheese when he thinks about it).

"Finally noticed me, huh?" the black cat drawled out lazily. "I'm Plagg, God of destruction and bad luck." He held out a sticky paw, Hugo shook it and grimaced at the feel of camembert against his skin. Emma, however, appeared entirely indifferent as she shook Plagg's paw firmly with big, wide, fascinated eyes. "I'd like to say you two kids have grown up well but to be honest I don't see much difference from the two drooling babies that used to grab my tail. You're just as oblivious as you were back then."

" _Plagg_!" Hugo jumped a mile when a small red creature zoomed out from beneath Mum's blouse collar. Unlike Plagg, this creature wasn't as identifiable to a normal animal. She was very pretty with the biggest eyes Hugo had ever seen. She glowered chidingly at Plagg who seemed entirely unbothered as he munched on his cheese. "Don't listen to him," the red creature murmured as she flew up to Hugo and Emma. "He adores you two really," she said reassuringly as she nuzzled against Hugo's cheek. She was soft and gentle and smelt like cookies and Hugo suddenly felt all warm and tingly like he did when Mum hugged him. "All he did was coo over you when you were babies. He was practically begging you to pull his tail"

" _Tiki!_ " Plagg yelped.

Emma stared at Tiki with her mouth dropped open in the perfect 'O' of surprise. Hugo probably looked no better as he couldn't understand why there was suddenly magical creatures in his kitchen. "Who are you?!" Emma asked rudely. " _What_ are you?"

"I'm Tiki," Tiki replied simply, "the God of creation and good luck."

"The yin to my yang, the light to my dark," Plagg added in bored time, "the usual rubbish."

Yes but that didn't explain why Tiki was here in the Agreste mansion, in their kitchen, talking to them, knowing them like Plagg apparently knew them….

"Tiki is my kwami," Mum spoke up shyly. She bit her lip and twiddled her fingers nervously as she suddenly avoided all eye contact. "….she makes me Ladybug," Mum forced the words out in a squeak.

Hugo's mind went blank at that.

It was one thing to find out that your Dad is a superhero but it was another thing entirely to find out that your Mum is the even more kickass superhero. There was so many questions and not even brain function to form them…. _where…why…how…what?_

"But you said you were out of town!" the words slipped out before Hugo could even think about them. "We asked you for help to deal with….well, Dad," he shot an apologetic look at Dad. He can't believe he called his father _lewd_. "And Aunt Alya said that you said you were out of town!"

Mum's jaw drooped open. "That was _you?_!" she cried out. Hugo and Emma nodded furiously and Mum shook her head in reply. "Unbelievable," she muttered, "well as you know I am pregnant with your new baby brother or sister," she explained calmly, "and when I'm pregnant Tiki won't transform me."

"Pregnant women shouldn't be on the battlefield," Tiki said when Emma and Hugo turned to look at her questioningly, "and even if I didn't have a problem with pregnant women fighting you don't want to know what kwami magic could do to an unborn child."

Hugo could feel Emma's curiosity buzz at that as she immediately opened her mouth to ask anyway when Mum suddenly spoke over her with a question of her own.

"Where on earth did you get the word _lewd_ from?!"

"I looked it up," Hugo shrugged. "I didn't want anyone to realise a seven year old wrote the email."

Mum stared at Hugo as if he had suddenly grown a second head before she whipped round and narrowed her eyes at Dad. " _Your_ children," Mum muttered to Dad, "they're _your_ children through and through."

"Trust me Princess," Dad smirked, "with _that_ trap they're definitely more _yours_ than mine."

Hugo didn't know whether or not to be insulted about that.

"So…erm…we're not in trouble are we?" Emma asked nervously as she flushed bright pink at the reminder of the trap. "For, you know," she bit her lip, "trapping Dad?"

Mum and Dad looked at one another and for the billionth time in his very short life, Hugo was convinced the whole being able to speak with stares wasn't just a twin thing. Dad tilted his head slightly in a questioning manner and Mum raised a dry eyebrow in reply and then after some more staring into each other's eyes, Dad finally dragged himself away.

"No," he said quietly but firmly, "It's our fault that you thought you had to do this. We kept secrets from you and because of that you thought you were going to lose your mother to another man," he smiled sheepishly at that as he scratched the back his neck, "You were only trying to protect the family from breaking up. We can't fault you for that."

"So no punishment," Mum said loudly. Emma sighed and physically slumped in relief and Hugo felt the tension in his shoulders suddenly ease and a weight in his chest suddenly disappear. He had been ready to accept whatever punishment that was metered out (unlike Emma who would have looked for the quickest escape route) but he couldn't help but pleased there wasn't going to be any. "Though," his Mum continued, "I got to know…How _did_ you get the rope all set up?"

"Oh!" Emma said brightly as she ignored Hugo's frantic head-shaking. "That's easy! We used the garden ladder."

"That heavy old thing?!" Mum gasped.

Emma nodded with a pleased look. "It was a nightmare to drag out of the shed, and set up, and then drag it back to the shed, but we did it!"

"And you climbed up that high?" Mum asked worriedly. "You could have fallen!"

"It wobbled a lot but I wasn't scared!" Emma bragged and Hugo inwardly groaned as he covered his face with a hand. "I had Hugo behind me to keep me safe."

"I see," Mum murmured "…g _rounded_ ," Mum declared. "For two weeks. _Both_ of you."

"WHAT?!" Emma yelled, utterly stunned. "But you just said we wouldn't be in trouble!"

"For trapping Dad," Mum agreed, "but I'm not grounding you for trapping Dad, or for kicking him or for eavesdropping." Emma looked extremely sheepish at that. If it wasn't for the fact that Mum and Dad felt it was their fault that Emma had been so upset these last couple weeks she certainly would have been grounded for all of those things. "I'm grounding you for _endangering your life_ to make the trap. Two totally different things."

"So unfair!" Emma pouted.

And so typical of Mum to outwit them like that. "Life is unfair," Mum said, "now it's late and well past your bedtime." She turned to Dad. "Divide and conquer?"

"Excellent idea, My Lady," Dad nodded and instantly scooped Emma in his arms. Emma squealed and squirmed but it was just for show as she wrapped her arms round Dad and snuggled into his shoulder. "I'll take little Miss Trouble here."

"I'm not trouble!" Emma protested. "And I don't want to sleep yet! I still have questions."

"Tomorrow," Mum promised as she smoothed Emma's hair away from her face and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "We'll talk tomorrow and you can ask anything you want," she said reassuringly, "but first you should sleep. Goodnight K-sweetie."

"Kitten," Emma mumbled, "I'm still your Kitten….right?" she asked hesitatingly.

Mum smiled radiantly as she pressed another kiss on Emma's forehead. "You're _always_ going to be m Kitten," she said firmly, "now _good night_."

"Night Mummy!"

Dad then carried Emma out of the kitchen which left Hugo and Mum alone in the kitchen. There is a moment of awkward silence as Hugo bit back the urge to ask if he was still Mum's kitten.

(After all he was _seven_ and a _boy,_ he shouldn't _want_ to be his Mum's kitten.)

As if she read his mind, Mum held her arms out for him. "You're still my Kitten too, you know," she said softly as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Now come on, Kitten," she nudged him slightly, "time for bed."

Hugo leaned into Mum and allowed her to guide him back up the stairs and to his bedroom. Mum pulled the duvet down on Hugo's bed and Hugo clambered in and let her tuck him in as if he was a little baby all over again.

"You're going to be okay, Kitten?" Mum murmured.

"I'll be fine," Hugo blinked, "Why?"

"Just….if you're upset or mad about the secrets," Mum said anxiously, "we'll understand baby. It's okay to be mad."

"I'm not mad," Hugo said reassuringly, "and Emma will be fine too. I understand why you'd want to keep it a secret. Emma's a bit of a blabber mouth." Mum's lips twitched in amusement. "I'm just happy to know you're not leaving anytime soon."

"Trust me, Kitten," Mum smiled softly as she smoothed Hugo's hair over, "I'm never going to leave you or your sisters or your Dad. _Never_ "

Hugo's pillow suddenly felt really comfortable, and he suddenly very warm and cosy, and his eyes suddenly felt very heavy as they fluttered to a close. "Good," Hugo mumbled sleepily. Mum was still stroking his hair and it felt very soothing and was making his eyes feel heavier and heavier as the room went darker and darker. "Mum?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Could the baby be a brother?" he asked. "Little sisters are more trouble than they're worth."

He didn't hear Mum's reply as he fell asleep almost immediately but he was rather certain she laughed.

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"I'm sorry."

Emma waited for the total of two seconds after they left the kitchen before the first apology left her lips. Dad tightened his arms round her as she buried her face as close to his shoulder as she could.

"It's okay," Dad murmured as he rubbed soothing circles on the back of her shoulder, "Little Lady."

Emma sighed in relief at that. She had feared she lost Little Lady like she had almost lost Kitten. She wasn't grown up enough yet to be without her parents' pet names. "But I _am_!" she insisted firmly. "I'm sorry for being so mean to you!"

"You didn't know-"

"And I'm sorry that I made a noose for my Chat Noir doll with ones of your ties!" Emma burst out. Now she had started she suddenly found it impossible to stop. "And I'm sorry I stole on of your ties!"

"It wasn't a tie I liked," Dad said cheerfully, "and I'm just glad you didn't decide to make a noose for the _real_ Chat Noir when you made your trap."

Emma grimaced at that. She couldn't deny that Chat Noir's bloody death had crossed her mind multiple times in these last couple weeks. "I'm sorry for drawing horrible pictures about you," she mumbled against his shoulder.

Dad was silent for a moment as he squeezed Emma tightly. "We'll discuss that one tomorrow," he said in a more neutral tone of voice, "Don't be surprised if Mum bans you from TV for all eternity," he tried to tease but it came out weak and Emma felt even more miserable than before.

She hated hurting her Dad, speaking of which…

"I'm sorry for kicking you!"

"That's all right, sweetheart." Dad murmured. "I shouldn't have ambushed you like that."

"I'm sorry for calling you a rat," Emma added. "….and for teaching Dottie to call you a rat too!"

Dad paused for a moment and for a second Emma regretted hiding her face into his shoulder because she really couldn't tell what her Dad was thinking. Whether he was ready to forgive her or if he hated her forever for that one. Then suddenly Dad started moving again. "That's okay," he said softly.

"I'm sorry for trapping you."

"You were just trying to protect me and your mother from….well, me."

"I'm sorry for thinking you're a sleazy love rat flirt in a cheap leather suit!" Emma burst out with her final sin. Dad's shoulders started to shake beneath Emma's cheek, and a first she thought that he was having a fit or something, but when she looked up she realised that Dad was trying his best to smother his laughter. "Why are you _laughing a_ t me?!" she cried out indignantly.

Dad chuckled out loud at that which did nothing to improve Emma's sour mood. "Sorry, sorry," Dad choked out between giggles, "adult humour."

Emma didn't get it.

She decided to file this bit of weirdness with the whole grown-ups playing pretend thing….aka the Must Ask Aunt Chloe Later file.

"Adults are so weird," she said.

"Indeed we are," Dad agreed cheerfully as he shifted Emma in his arms so he was only holding her with one as he used the other to open her bedroom door. "Emma, I accept all of your apologies and I forgive you for _everything_ ," Dad said in his most serious and sincere tone. He met her green eyes with his matching, solemn, eyes. "Okay?" he prodded gently and Emma nodded in response though she very much wanted to cry now because it felt so good that he wasn't mad at her and that Mum wasn't running away anytime soon and that there's no more horrible heavy things weighing on her mind. Emma could cry for France now she was so relieved. "So don't worry. What about you Little Lady?" Dad asked as he pulled Emma's duvet down and dropped Emma gently down onto her soft bed. "Will you forgive me?"

Emma blinked, bewildered. "What _for_?" she asked. "I was the naughty one not _you._ "

"Oh no I've been naughty too," Dad said as he sat down beside Emma on her bed. "I'm sorry Emma, for the lies and the secrets, for scaring you and making you think the worst, and for being out late and not around much. I'm sorry for being a terrible father."

" _What are you talking about_?!" Emma cried out crossly. "You're _always_ around! And you're the best Daddy in the world! I love you!"

Dad beamed at that and his eyes sparkled with a joy that would take anyone's breath away. "I love you too," he replied as he wrapped his arm round Emma.

"And the secrets?" Emma carried on. "What else were you supposed to do? Superheroes don't exactly put out adverts to tell people who they are. And telling a really little kid that doesn't know how to keep a secret is a really stupid idea. I mean Dottie just says anything like when she called you a ra…" Emma trailed off as her eyes widened in realisation. Emma called Chat Noir a rat and taught Dottie to refer to Chat Noir as a rat and when Emma and Hugo openly talked about trapping Chat Noir, Dottie thought they were trapping Dad which would mean... "Dottie knows," Emma concluded. "Doesn't she?" she shot accusing glare at Dad.

"You used to as well," Dad said mildly, unbothered by Emma's scowl. "Babies don't talk, there was no need to hide. I would change your nappy transformed if you were crying just as I got home from patrol….much to Plagg's everlasting displeasure."

Something told Emma that Plagg was always displeased and dissatisfied about something.

"And then?"

"You went to pre-school and was proud to tell everyone your Dad was Chat Noir and Mummy was Ladybug," Emma cringed at that. So it was her fault that Mum and Dad started lying to her. "No one believed you, thankfully," Dad added hastily, "but that was when we started to keep it secret and you….well forgot."

"How can I forget something like _that?_!" Emma asked disbelievingly. "Plagg and Tiki aren't exactly forgettable."

"You'd be surprised how much you have forgotten," Dad smiled, "so many games and imaginary friends and little habits that you've just simply outgrown."

"Are you going to let Dottie forget?" Emma asked. "Are we going to have to keep this from her and the baby when they come along?"

"Probably for the best," Dad said gently, "but I can promise you this that we will not let them find out like you did. We were going to sit you down and tell you when you're old enough to keep it a secret. We'll do the same for Dottie and baby and _before_ they see Mummy kiss Chat Noir." Dad smiled then. "Cat's honour," he promised.

Emma wanted to argue (because somehow she didn't think it would be _that easy_ when the time came) but she was so tired now that she could sleep for a hundred years and it still wouldn't be enough. She opened her mouth but nothing but a huge yawn came out. Dad laughed again as he gently guided Emma to lie down and tucked her in. once she was firmly under the covers and been kissed good night, repeatedly, Dad got up to leave.

"Wait!" Emma sat up abruptly. Dad paused and stared at her questioningly. "Can I tell you a secret?" Emma whispered excitedly.

"You can tell me anything Little Lady."

Emma gestured for Dad to move closer and he did. He even went as far as to lean in close as she shifted onto her knees to whisper into his ear. "My Daddy is the greatest superhero in the whole world," she whispered.

Dad pulled away with a look in his eyes, like he wanted to laugh but cry at the same time, as he smiled down at her. "Even greater than Ladybug?" Dad teased.

"Well Ladybug said so herself," Emma said primly, "Chat Noir is _her_ hero."

The grin on Dad's face was more radiant than the sun.

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Adrien and Marinette had pretty much collapsed onto the bed without a second thought. Plagg and Tiki were already asleep so it was virtually just the two of them which left the room silent and peaceful as Marinette snuggled in close to her husband. She was so exhausted that she could lay like this for all eternity especially when she was covered in, well, _Adrien_.

The best thing to be covered in.

Adrien murmured something lovingly against her hair and Marinette smiled as her eyes fluttered to a close. "I think we're going to be all right," Marinette finally managed to voice through her tiredness. "There's still so much to talk about but I think it's going to be okay."

"Me too," Adrien mumbled, "Remember, you now owe Alya macarons."

"I know," Marinette groaned into her pillow, "she's going to be so _smug_ about it as well. But hey, we can have a day of baking with the children after the talk."

"That would be nice."

"You're staying away from the oven."

"As long as I get to lick the spoon," Adrien moaned dreamily.

Marinette rolled her eyes. She swears to God that Adrien was the biggest child in the world. "You can fight the twins for the spoon," she said. Adrien groaned in protest as he pulled her closer and made a childish whine. " _Hush_ ," she murmured, "at least it's all over now."

"Agreed," Adrien muttered, "But as the good bard has always said all's well that ends well."

Marinette groaned disgustedly. " _Adrien_!" she complained. "We talked about this before. No Shakespeare in bed."

"But My Lady!" Adrien protested teasingly, "shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

Marinette threw her pillow into Adrien's face.


	10. Epilogue: I Saw Daddy Kiss Ladybug

**Author's Note:** Thank you all very much for all the reviews, favourites, and follows. I hope you all enjoyed this and that you will enjoy this final chapter. Once again, thank you.

 **Five Years Later….**

Louis Agreste (yes, Mummy won the argument) was excited about his secret little adventure. He and Dottie were going to sneak down and steal a feast, just for the two of them. He liked it when it was just the two of them, not that he didn't like the twins, but they were twelve, and that apparently made Emma mad and outrageous and Hugo serious and boring.

Dottie, however, was seven, and _cool._

" _Shh_!" she whispered as she held a finger to her lips. They were just about to go down the stairs and Louis hadn't been able to stop babbling about how exciting and fun and cool this whole adventure was. "We have to be very, very _, very_ quiet. Mum and Dad are still up."

Louis nodded obediently as he slipped his hand into Dottie's. They tip-toed down the stairs and crept across the hallway towards the kitchen when they realised the living room's door was wide open and the light was on. Dottie hastily pushed Louis against the wall and cautiously the pair of them peered round the doorframe.

Dad was sitting in an armchair all alone while he read a book.

They waited for a few moments as Dottie kept her eyes on Dad and Louis looked up at her for the signal. As soon as Dottie was certain that Dad wasn't going to be looking up anytime soon (he just chuckled and eagerly turned a page over) Dottie made an encouraging hand motion.

Louis eagerly stepped towards the kitchen when Dottie suddenly grabbed hold of his collar and tugged him back. "But you said it was al-"

" _Shh_!" Dottie hissed. "Someone's at the window."

Louis peered round the doorframe again and his jaw dropped wide open.

There, right there, climbing through their window, was none other than Paris' greatest superhero _Ladybug_. All in her red and black glory, as she stepped into the living room with such ease you'd think she owned the house.

Dad closed his book and placed it on the arm of his chair as he leaned back with a warm smile on his face. It was the same smile that Louis seen him give Mum all time when she wasn't looking.

"Hey, Hot Stuff," Ladybug murmured. "What's cooking?"

"It's _Ladybug_!" Louis whispered excitedly. "Why would Ladybug come and ask Dad what's cooking at Midnight? Doesn't she know that Dad can't cook more than eggs in the morning?!"

" _Shh!_ " Dottie hissed again. "They'll hear us!"

Louis stiffened and bite back the urge to shout when Ladybug suddenly trailed a hand on the top of the armchair, her fingers brushed against Dad's hair in the same loving manner that Mum's would and Dad leaned back into her touch! Louis wanted nothing more than to tell Ladybug to back off because Dad was already _married_!

"I find it highly unfair that I'm not allowed to say funny and witty things," Dad complained as he closed his eyes and leaned further into Ladybug's touch. She was now outright running her fingers through his hair. Louis felt rather sick at the sight. "But you are."

"That's because, Kitty," Ladybug said calmly as she finally stopped in her petting to step round the armchair. "When _I_ say them, it comes out cool and clever, but when you say them they're just cheesy."

" _Hmmph_!"

Louis open his mouth to shout when Ladybug then suddenly plunked herself onto Dad's lap – _without even asking_! – but Dottie squeezed his shoulder warningly and when he looked up at her she shook her head and put a finger to her lips.

How could she stay so quiet during this?!

How can she be so _calm_?!

Someone that wasn't them or their Mum was sitting on their Dad's lap. No one but Mum, Louis. Emma, or Dottie (Hugo apparently was too old and cool to sit on Dad's lap, the infection seems to be spreading because Emma was starting to stop too) were allowed to sit on Dad's lap. And yet Ladybug wiggled on Dad's lap as if she belonged there and wrapped an arm round Dad's neck possessively.

"Don't pout, Kitty," Ladybug murmured, as her fingers trailed across his jaw, "It doesn't become you."

Dad's eyes looked lazy and sleepy and leaned in close to Ladybug's touch. "I think you don't like it when I pout," he said in a strange, husky, voice, like he had a cold suddenly or something, "because you suddenly find my lips irresistible."

Ladybug snorted at that. "You keep thinking that, Kitty," she smirked, "but I think you'll find I can resist that childish pout with great ease."

Louis didn't believe her as Dad was now drawing circles on Ladybug's thigh and Ladybug seemed to have apparently melted against his touch as she gazed up at him with a weird look that all of Aunt Chloe's favourite TV characters would use just before Aunt Chloe hastily turned the TV off.

"I beg to differ," Dad purred out. "You're not exactly resisting me, My Lady."

And with that they met in a long, slow, icky, messy kiss and Louis was sure he had seen their tongues meet ( _ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww_!). Ladybug moaned into the kiss and Dad responded by groping her bottom. Louis couldn't bare the sight any longer and he was determined to stop this as he stepped out of the shadows and towards the kissing couple when Dottie suddenly grabbed him and yanked him back.

"Don't!"

Louis stared up horrified at Dottie. How could she be so calm about this? How could she not want to put a stop to this as well? "But Dottie, _Daddy is kissing Ladybug_!" Louis hissed desperately but Dottie appeared entirely unbothered as she frowned in confusion and her green-blue eyes stared out to nothing. "Daddy is kissing Ladybug!" he repeated. Dottie remained disturbingly silent. " _Dottie_!" Louis nudged his older sister. "What do we _do?_ "

Dottie breathed out slowly. "We talk to Emma and Hugo," she decided firmly.

"But-"

"They're the eldest," Dottie interrupted softly. "They would know what to do. I'll get Emma, you get Hugo."

"All right," Louis nodded jerkily.

He glanced back and regretted it immediately as he saw Dad and Ladybug still kissing in a really gross way and hastily ran off before he was actually, physically, sick. He ran and ran until he was up the stairs, back down the 'children's' corridor and banged loudly at Hugo's door with both fists.

"Hugh! Hugh! Hugh!" he shouted. He could hear Dottie call out for Emma at the same time as she knocked rapidly on Emma's bedroom door. "Hugh! Hugh! Hu-"

Louis almost fell flat on his face when the door suddenly yanked open and Hugo towered over him with a grumpy look on his face. Hugo's usually neat blonde hair stuck up all over the place and Louis had to bite back the urge to giggle. Hugo hated being a mess.

" _What?_ " Hugo grunted rudely. "It's late, Louis, I was asleep. What could have been so important that you woke me up?"

Louis jutted his chin up defiantly. Maybe it was a grown up thing or something but Hugo and Emma seemed to be madly in love with being asleep. Emma loved sleeping in mornings and got very cross when someone prodded her awake for school while Hugo loved sleeping at night and got nasty when his sleep was disturbed or he was kept from his early bed time.

Louis older siblings were just plain _weird._

But before Louis could say anything about this Emma and Dottie appeared. Unlike Hugo, who looked like death warmed over, Emma was bright-eyed and cheery and had an arm slung round Dottie.

"Don't be an old man, Hugh," Emma rolled her eyes, "it's barely past Midnight."

"We still have school in the morning, Em," Hugo said dryly, "I would like to actually be _awake_ in class."

" _Why_?" Emma screwed her nose up in disgust. "They're so _boring._ " This time Hugo rolled his eyes but Emma ignored him as she knelt down to ruffle Louis' hair. "What's up kiddo?"

"I saw Daddy kiss _Ladybug_!"

Louis couldn't keep it a secret any was just bubbling up inside him and he wanted someone to know and help him fix this horrible, horrible, thing he had seen and so he just bust out with the truth. There was an awful silence as Dottie ducked down to look at the floor and both Emma and Hugo blinked simultaneously as they took in what they had just heard.

Worried and scared that his brother and sister thought he was lying, Louis opened his mouth to insist it was the truth when-

"Oh _God_ ," Hugo turned away disgustedly, "It's too late to deal with this nonsense. _You_ ," he glanced back pointedly to Emma, "can sort it out _. I'm_ going to go to sleep."

Louis spluttered indignantly but Emma placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled reassuringly. "All right squirts," she said bossily, "pull up a space," Hugo's shout of 'not my room!' was ignored entirely as Dottie and Louis brushed past to settle on his bed. Emma followed them in and sat between them as she smiled a much more mischievous grin that was achingly familiar for some reason. "Now then," Emma said, "let me tell you the family secret…"


	11. Xmas Omake: I Saw Mummy Kiss Santa Claws

**Author's Note:** A Christmas present to the lovely Tsubaki! As always I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

 _Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house not a creature was stirring,_ Louis Agreste thought to himself, _not even a mouse._

Well, that wasn't entirely _true_. His big sister Emma was most definitely awake he had seen the lights of her TV flashing beneath the crack of her bedroom door when he crept past and undoubtedly Hugo was also awake because Louis had heard him chuckling to himself as he read something funny, and then, of course, Louis could see Mummy curled up on the armchair from his stake out position.

It _**was**_ the night before Christmas though and Louis Agreste was on a _mission_!

He was going to prove that Santa Claus was real and then he was going to rub it in his big brother and sisters' faces.

It had broken his heart completely when even _Dottie_ \- who promised him earlier this year that the Tooth Fairy was real – said that Santa Claus wasn't real and he had moped all week until Mummy forced him help her bake cookies for Santa. Nothing beats baking time with Mummy and being the only one that licks the bowel.

Louis had cheered up just from the taste of cookie dough alone but then Mummy said something that helped too.

"Why do you bother making Santa cookies?" Louis had asked as he watched Mummy put the cookies into the oven. "Dottie says Santa isn't real."

"Really?" Mummy smiled mysteriously. "Because Santa visits me every Christmas."

And that was why Louis was out on a stake out on Christmas Eve. He was going to see Santa and he was going to take a photo and then he was going to be the one that knows best while Emma, Hugo, and Dottie will look silly.

Louis squirmed impatiently as the minutes ticked away and Santa still hadn't shown up. The night went on and on and on and _nothing was happening_! Louis was cold, bored, and fed-up. There was nothing he would like more than to go to bed and snuggle up in the warmth until morning but Louis was an Agreste. Not any Agreste, he was a _Dupain-Cheng_ Agreste, and that meant he was more stubborn than he was sensible.

(According to Auntie Alya and Auntie Chloe that is.)

Louis' eyes drifted to a close when there was a sudden thumping sound that jerked him awake. Louis leaned forwards excitedly in time to catch sight of two black boots stick out of the fireplace they were quickly followed by red velvet covered legs (with white furry trim) and the finally a trim figure with a huge, bulging, sack of presents.

Huh.

Santa was a lot thinner and better looking than all of the pictures he had seen before.

Maybe he did Zumba like Auntie Chloe?

"Ho, Ho, Ho!" Santa called out. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," Mummy replied warmly, "you do know you don't have to go to this extent, right?"

"But Princess I like to _pur_ r-sonally visit those on my naughty list," Santa purred, "I have to ensure they're out of their stockings."

Louis pulled a disgusted face at that.

Santa sounded exactly like Daddy when he and Mummy thought they were alone. Really, really, _icky_ and _gross_ and _urgh_. This then made Louis really uncomfortable because would that mean Santa Claus was _flirting_ with Mummy?!

But Mummy was _**married**_!

That meant she was _off limits_.

Santa could give Louis all the presents in the world but that didn't mean he was allowed to take Mummy in return.

Also Princess was _Daddy's_ name for Mummy and no one else's!

"I thought you were supposed to be putting coal _into_ the stockings not getting naughty people _out of_ their stockings," Mummy replied in an equally icky voice that made Louis feel sick. "And you visit everyone on your naughty list? Should I be worried about whose stockings you've been trying to steal?"

"There's only one name on my list," Santa said firmly, "You've been a _very_ naughty girl, Princess."

" _Moi_?" Mummy said in the exact same false innocent voice that Emma always used when she lied about stealing Tiki's cookies. "I've been good as gold."

"I've heard otherwise," Louis scowled as Santa invaded Mummy's personal space entirely. Mummy had stood up to greet him earlier and now they were stood so close that an _**ant**_ couldn't squeeze between them. "You've been a tease to your poor husband."

"Fair is fair," Mummy slung her arms round Santa's neck and pressed up against him. "He's been a tease too."

Louis had to bite his lip to stop himself from shouting. He once thought Daddy had been cheating on Mummy before Emma explained that actually Mummy was the superhero Ladybug (and _Daddy was Chat Noir_!) so there was a small, possible, chance that Mummy wasn't having an affair with Santa but that Daddy _was_ Santa.

He didn't know how that could be possible but he was going to give Mummy and Santa a chance before he barged in and told them off.

"Why _Santa Kitty_ ," Mummy purred in that really icky voice that made Louis want to vomit and turned Daddy into a sappy mess, "are you pleased to see me or is that just a _really big_ present?"

Santa threw his head back and laughed at that.

Louis didn't get it.

That wasn't funny at all.

All of Santa's presents were in the sack and what would a really big present have to do with being pleased to see someone?

Grown-ups were just so _weird_!

"I am always _purr_ -leased to see you, Princess," Santa said cheerfully. "But I do also have a _purr-_ sent for you." Santa then suddenly pulled out a sprig of mistletoe out of his pocket and held it over Mummy's head. "Mistletoe,"

"As if I need the excuse!"

Louis' jaw dropped open as Mummy didn't even blink before she launched herself at Santa and kissed him.

It was a really _icky_ kiss!

One of those big smooches that appear in the silly romance films Emma and Auntie Chloe like to watch together. With the disgusting slurping noises and the hands moving around each other and squeezing everything.

 _Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!_

It was also Louis' last straw.

He was willing to give Santa and Mummy the benefit of doubt but all this icky kissing really took the cake. He wasn't going to let Mummy kiss other men that weren't Daddy!

So without a second thought Louis jumped up and stomped down the stairs before he placed his hands on his hips and shot Santa and Mummy his best telling off glare.

"That better be Daddy in a Santa suit or you're in big trouble young lady!" Louis yelled as he wagged his finger at Mummy. "I will tell Daddy on you!

" _Louis_!"

Both Mummy and Santa gasped out his name as they pulled apart from one another. They made a really weird, funny, noise as they separated. Kinda like when Daddy has to use a plunger for the toilet.

In any other circumstances Louis might have giggled at the funny noise instead he sighed in relief when he caught sight of 'Santa's' real face. It was undoubtedly his father in disguise though for some reason he was also transformed as his green eyes were greener, the whites lost to a sea of forests, and there was a black mask surrounding them.

" _Daddy_!" Louis cried out delightedly as he rushed to hug his father. Daddy happily wrapped his arms round Louis in return. "Why are you dressed as **BOTH** Chat Noir and Santa?!" Louis asked bewilderedly.

"Because," Daddy replied as he lifted Louis up, tonight "I'm not just Chat Noir and I'm not Santa, I'm Santa _Claws_ ," he stressed the pun with a very toothy grin, "Santa's _paw_ esome helper."

Louis giggled at that. "Good one, Daddy," he praised his father. "Though _claw_ some would be better!"

"Oh _God_!" Mummy groaned, "There's _two_ of them!"

Louis knew Mummy didn't mean it badly because she smiled at him and Daddy fondly before she leaned in and stroked Louis' hair. Before Louis knew it he was squeezed in between both parents on the armchair as he helped himself to the cookies he and Mummy had baked earlier.

( _Ha_! And Emma, Hugo, and Dottie get _none at all_! This was shaping up to be the best Christmas ever in spite of all the kissing he had to witness.)

"So," Louis said with his mouth full of gooey goodness, "How exactly did you become Santa's helper, Daddy?"

"Oh that is a good story!" Daddy exclaimed. "Well it all started when the real Santa got Akumatised thanks to Mummy-"

" _Oh my God_!" Mummy flushed with embarrassment. Louis vaguely remembers being told the story before. Mummy had thought that Santa was actually an Akuma already and had kidnapped Daddy. "It was a logical conclusion to jump to! How was I supposed to know you just went off for a teenage strop?!"

"Well the fact I was actually a _teenager_ could have been a clue," Daddy said cheekily which earned an irritated huff from Mummy, "anyway," Daddy said loudly, "Mummy got Santa Akumatised which meant there was no one to deliver presents to all the boys and girls of Paris so-"

And then Daddy told a long, spell-binding, tale about rescuing Christmas and going to the North Pole and talking polar bears and icky kisses under the Northern Lights which Louis really could have lived without knowing.

Louis knew it wasn't the truth but it was such a good story that he listened without arguing. His limbs suddenly heavy with tiredness to the point he couldn't even keep his eyelids up. The darkness was so very warm and welcoming as Daddy's voice soothed him into slumber.

"….I think he's asleep," Daddy murmured quietly, "I'll take him to bed and you can put the presents under the tree."

"All right," Mummy replied softly, "I'll be up soon and then you can _unwrap your Christmas present._ " Louis stirred slightly when he felt Mummy press her lips against his forehead. "Good night little prince," she whispered, "I'll see you in the morning."

There was another loud smooching sound which Louis knew if he was more awake he would be disgusted by as his parents kissed one another soundly.

They really do kiss _way too much_!

"Merry Christmas, My Lady."

"Merry Christmas, Kitty."

 _And to all_ , Louis thought sleepily as he remembered the poem once more, _a good night_.

He wondered if this meant Mummy was the Tooth Fairy….


End file.
